AUGH. i am so frustrated with myself!

ak;fsjl i feel like a nervous jiggilng jello and i can barely focus

i had ALL FUCKING SEMESTER to get my huge long term projects done and i'm still fucking turning them in late

i need to get my act together Dx i keep on going THIS IS THE DAY I GET TO WORK and then i don't

and then i get so nervous and workd up about it that i aviod everyone and everything for a week

it's probably a good thing that i'm heading off to grandparents' and away from the internet after the semester is over, i need to...idk. look at my study skills and rethink them

i'm glad that i found a steady service project that i can do next semester, it'll be a good chagne from classes classes classes

plus it's experience...

having something that mimics a steady job will help, i think

...i hope

i'm really lucky that i can afford to screw up college and not have to work fulltime and i'm grateful for that

but i'm worried that i'm not giong to be able to function in the real world once i finally graduate with a 4 year degree

(at least 2 year degree get?)

on that note: academic essays are not my cup of tea and i should not go into academics

maybe i should switch into pharmacy or something :| i like math and chemistry, you don't have to write fucking papers about it

[hugs]

I was really good at writing last-minute papers. I never turned them in late, because my best work was done under the gun when I was freaking out and panicking.

Some people work waaaaay better with a steady schedule, and some people are better at last minute pushes. There's no shame in being either way.

But I always enjoyed the feeling at the end of the semester, because I knew it was over. "Win or lose, I've done it on my own."

oh no D:

...and that can be a really good feeling. The stress all lifts, and its just...done.

academic essays are bullshit :c

you can keep going. I believe in you! Don't get stressed out, because you can do it, and it'll be amazing.

yeah. i used to be really good at doing last minute papers but....idk. i can't work up any motivation alsdfjka;dfa. it's like trying to start a car and the engine's broken. SO FRUSTRATING

they are such bullshit Dx

thansk, guys ;~;

/curls around

man feeling bluh about stuff you know you're supposed to have motivation (even grudging motivation) for is the worst

yeah ;A;

baby :c

what is your major rn

psych

maybe reconsider?

yeah...

if you aren't interested

i love psych, it's a subject i really enjoy and it's v versitile, but the papers drive me up the wall

maybe it's just burn out :/

hopefully not doing school next semester will help. i'm volunteering as a teacher's aide in a special ed class, i've helped the teacher before and i know the kids

i'm pretty good at working with kids and it's sort of in my field?? and it's a job that needs doing and i like it

maybe if you like working in a school, you could change your major to education and also get some specialization in dealing with learning disabilities or special ed?

but at any rate, I wish you luck and I'll miss you a lot

but school takes precedent over internet

yeah...I think I'll be back in january B|< once i get my shit more together

i should throw up a hiatus post orz

and maybe education stuff...teaching is really scary intimidating, though... @_@

[hugs] you've got to do what you think is best. If you like a sub-field, maybe you should try to gut through it. Papers are stupid, but if it gets you into doing what you love, then push through it.

Figure out what you really want to do. Maybe its not psychology, and that's totally okay, but if it is think of papers as just a silly stepping stone.

yeah in your position if you love this volunteering I would look at maybe going into ed?

teaching is intimidation, but that's why you go to school, to learn how!

right!

best of luck getting things together <3

thanks! <3

^^ and dont forget to hiatus