Hey.

Not gunna lie, I feel really dumb for asking at large like this. But it's like 6am here and I'm alone.

Everyone I know that I normally talk to is asleep, and this is one of those god-forsaken hours anxiety things.

Yeah.

Basically, it's a compound mix of 'going to china holy shit what do' 'WHY ARE YOU SO IRRESPONSIBLE YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN AN ONLINE CLASS' and 'Holy shit I am 24 and have like no organization skills'

Yeah.

Like, a large part of this online class is discussion board posts.

And people are still commenting on some of the ones I haven't done.

But for various reasons up to and including real life things and horrible management skills I have missed out on the deadline for several of them.

Granted that it's only five weeks into the semester, a 16 week semester and we have only done 3 chapters but I still feel...horrible in general, really.

...I mean, I know it's an ADD thing.

I have adult ADD, and manic depression.

I lean heavily to the manic end, which exacerbates the time management and organizational skill issues.

It just doesn't seem to end, though. I fall behind for stupid reasons and have difficulty in doing the work in the first place.

The online class was a horrible idea.

I am not even remotely mature or responsible enough to handle this.

I know it.

I knew it.

But I still went through with this.

Gods' blood is it ever...

It's not the only online course I'm taking either, I have two hybrid courses on the same site.

Direct2Learn.

One is French, the other is a Humanities course that requires pretty much exactly as much writing as the one I'm behind in.

I kinda talked with the professor before, I know him because he's the head of the psychology club and I'm an active member. I explained it about a week ago and he assured me it was okay and that I could just-

work hard to make things up.

I looked at the syllabus, he told me I only needed to do two of the activities on the board for each chapter and I think I have actually managed that.

I just don't know for certain.

And there's a big paper coming up in both that and the humanities class.

I've spent years like this, and learned to be extremely good under pressure once the initial panic attack subsides, but...I dunno, it seems like I'm backing myself into a corner more than I usually do.

I wish that line of thinking corroborated with the syllabi and calenders of these courses. I really do.

406 documentation for special accomodations?

I keep wondering if I should do that.

Go out and get a neuropsych and get accommodations, but I feel guilty almost when I consider it.

I'm a sophmore, technically, it might really do me well to do that. I could get help, find people to teach me better ways of managing myself and keeping to a schedule.

...I have no idea how expensive a neuropsych would be, though.

I don't know. I should ask.

Actually, I do see one of the school psych councilors frequently so it might be good to ask for an appointment to talk about that or just see if I can ask her directly.

It...I don't know.

It really might just be a good idea to swallow my pride and just get the help I can.

It isn't much of an issue, but it still is an issue.

Actually it seems like it fluctuates between being a big issue and a minor irritation.

I know this sounds counter to what I'm doing here and now, but I rarely do not seek help from other people when something bugs me. I just don't like drawing large amounts of attention to myself.

Like this.

That's such a difficult concept to really grasp, though, huh. Western culture might seem to other people like it's really lax on those matters, but there's still a huge amount of stigma against reliance

on assistance like that.

It's a weakness, and people look down on superfluously using it...It makes you look and feel incapable if you aren't overtly disabled.

But, you forget exactly that. Sometimes everyone needs some help with things and there isn't really such a thing as 'superfluously' relying on help.

Blegh.

I agree with you, it's just hard when something reflects as heavily on you as education.

Thank you! I do feel a lot better.

Take care!