Lol I told you, online.

u is or is u ain't?

What? Lpl

I am what I am.

Lol I answered your question its on the internet, one lot I don't remember where and the other is locked from away from searches.

Dear Aunty Rob,
I am an average-looking twenty-four year old boy. I manage to have alright luck with girls, until it comes to undressing in

And peters question, requires me to make assumptions in order to answer it. well I ain't his lady.

in front of them. Every time I reveal my lower portions they are horrified! They scream and cry - one even threw up! I think there must be

something wrong with my junk. I have a high standard of personal hygiene. Do you have any ideas what is wrong with me?
- frustrated, Bolton.

Dear Bolton.
Do you know of any anomalies with your junk? Lumps? Bumps? Odd Swelling? Strange Oozing? That may be your trouble, otherwise

It is fairly safe to assume that if you believe your private subject to be relatively normal then it is infact normal. You can check this

Further using medical pages online. Or by sending in picture evidence and we can have it validated. If we are to assume that your member is

Tickety boo, then we must assume that it an issue with the girls involved. Perhaps they feel forced, perhaps they have taken intoxicating

Substances or perhaps they are entirely mentally unstable. In any case you must regain pride in your genitalia and find women who

Appreciate it for what it is. I hope you find a way to release your frustrations soon.
-your aunty sobey.
P.s regular sexual health checks

Are valuable.

LOL

Dear Anti-Rob,
I recently found myself in possession of a frozen Rat, upon defrosting the poor "animal" in a microwave it started vibrating incessantly...

Like that thing when you put your mobile phone under your balls and text your entire phonebook. Now I've been in a long term relationship with a girl for whom I settled (she looks like a dead camel).

So I thought we might as well put this anomaly to good use and proceeded to corner and taunt my girlfriend with it during some light role play. The sex was great and the rat became a frequent partner.

Unfortunately I started to come home and find my dead camel slouched on the couch, with the rat well entrenched. This continued for some months and our sex life dried up... similar to a dead camel.

I realise I should have contacted you then but now my dead camel gf has disappeared with rat in (camel) toe. Can I get her back? And if so how?

Mouse-trap, Wiltshire.

Wow

Dear mouse-trap
I hope you heard of a great detective named Mr bagsmuffin. He will surely be able to find your camel gf and

More importantly the rather exciting sounding rat.

I hope all your future endeavors are suitably moist.
-anti-rob

Nice, couldn't let that opportunity go by. Though your first response and Carly's original idea are rather amazing.

Dear Aunty Rob,

Firstly, my name is "frustrated". Bolton is where I live.

Secondly, upon reading through your advice, I think you could be on to something with the idea of these women being on drugs. I do happen to have rather a large tattoo of Boy George on my groin - my penis

forms his nose (it's the 5th member of Culture Club). Perhaps, if the women are on opiates, they will see this image and hallucinate that it is something disturbing. This must be what is scaring them away!

Thanks Aunty Rob!7

* no 7

Lol evidently

You are welcome, frustrated.