gipunkjenn: something like this: (Dramatic score in the background) WEEP! SIGH! MOURN! for this poor beast is legless and so being found in this way is doomed! DOOMED!
But lo! Look through yonder sunless valley to the hills! See the sun rises and lights the land with its warmth! But weep and sigh and mourn for the legless and afflicted. For to find their legs, one must
enter the deep, dark abyss of assignment and stave of the hoards of soulless papers and the dark magic of mathematical problems or the earth with all its legless and afflicted monsters shall DIE
and all will be lost as the dark army of DOOM conquers all and vanquishes all hope! WEEP! SIGH! MOURN! For unless the tide is turned, the legless shall die and languish in the horrors