I suddenly wish I could knit. I would start an LGBT knitting club. We would knit like this in public. When people asked what we were doing, I would look at them and say, "We're just faggoting."

I have wished before to be able to knit. I've never wished it so desparately.

I KNOW!

We would have signs. "GAY AGENDA - Socks. Beanies. Baby blankets."