gjdfklas
hawke no
hello new people on my plurk
cris is gross
defriend her now
SCREAM HDU
GOOD
i love him
LMFAO
HAWKE IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL I CAN'T
HIS CHEESY FLIRTING
IT'S PERF
headbutts
i can do that too 
what about this
SCREAM SETINE GET OUT OF HERE 
LMFAO WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU SETINE
IT'S OUR LITTLE SECRET
DON'T BE SO NOSY
clementine?
is that our new codeword for kittens or babies
jkdlfkjdsfkas scream
so when i want to say something is making be want to punch babies
i will just exclaim
GOD I WANT TO PUNCH SOME CLEMENTINES 
YES GOOD NO ONE WILL SUSPECT
except me
punching clementines sounds squishy
fjdsklfa
and messy
you'll get the juice everywhere
Gross
Ew you're back
wow i don't need u!!!
ndjksandka YES
LOL
fgdasfasd
oh i already responded here
well
in that casre
fuck u cris
LMFAO SCREAM
hello old plurk uwu
Wuzzafuzzle: and 
honorableshadow: 
i miss your Hawke I wish I had stuck around longer
i miss your Hawke I wish I had stuck around longer
suddenly misses gaying up the place with my fenris
I miss your derp Connor. THERE WILL BE OTHER TIMES. ;v;
i feel like a matchmaker
YEAH HI MY OLD PLURK DIED
adds
It was Connor that brought Fenris and Hawke together.
what
In another universe out there.
and things didn't instantly fail
what
can you imagine him trying to figure out
how to best woo fenris
....so basically Alistair's lines about wooing but with connor instead
SCREAM ACCURATE.....
LMAO
It's a...rose.
Have a beard shaped like a big furry triangle and be a sarcastic sad sack
i bet fenris would have appreciated flowers that you had to kill a bunch of creatures to get to
LOL
LOL
Sounds about right
he'd make the mistake of asking isabela how to woo people in order to know how to go about setting them up
SHE KNOWS A THING OR TWO AFTER ALL
FUCK HIS BUTT
thanks isabela
thanks isabela
jkldfskjlafsdklasfdlkjw
passes on this advice with 112% more sincerity tbh
Jfc connor
man that emote
Hồn Ma 👻
has
anyone drawn connor with that face yet
lmfao screams connor is tobey maguire as spider-man in his heart and you know it
both are ragey failbots
climbing buildings and shiz
Connor would randomly do a dance routine in a bar?
yes
absolutely
with emo hair
he can comb his mohawk over one eye instead of tying it back
LMAO
CRAWWWWWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIN
ic connor tbh
It's so easy to make fun of this guy and yet I can't play the game yet sob
omg it's so fun YOU'LL LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO
lots of jumping off things
and stabbing
other things
but mostly jumping off things and stabbing
and petting dogs
AND FEEDING PIGS
magical hand doritos
I love the other AC games ;^; ...does AC3 make you rage as much?
ohhh yeah
sob
there are some plot-required chase scenes i always want to murder babies during those
LIKE NOT FIGURING OUT THE WEAPONS WHEEL
I hate the super perfect synch thing AC: B had bdkjsada
I CAN'T CHASE I GET NERVOUS AND RUN INTO EVERYTHING
And punting guards off roofs by accident
lkjafsdjklfdasljkd YEP
I KNOW GAME. I KNOW I CAN'T BE PERFECT FOR YOU. I'M SORRY
my hand slipped
CURSE YOU AND YOUR HAM HANDS
das racist
I'll never be cool like Eziboo sob
ezio was absolutely flawless
connor just kinda blunders his way through
altair's somewhere in between
CANT EVEN ARGUE
don't make me bring up the drunken falling out of tree threads.
DAT EVENT
that was magic
unicorns and donuts and booze
|D
Altair accidentally'd Malik's arm and brother.
this plurk is so beautiful now ok
Garrett is the ridiculously photogenic guy.
screaming omg
omfg SASS TWINS
no one would survive
unsassed
RIDICULOUSLY PHOTOGENIC HAWKE
FENRIS BROODS
NO MORE
NO MORE
I wish I could have an IC reason to use that one icon I have of the ridicuously photogenic Hawke bdsada
basically
Garrett and Marian being gay but hitting on each other anyway
lkjdfsajklfds every reason is ic to use that ridiculously photogenic hawke icon
because they think their hot
LMFAO ACCURATE
SCREAMS
IT WEIRD IF I HIT ON YOU???
theyll only make an exception
NAH BRO WE'RE GOOD LOOKING FUCKERS
for themselves
oh my god A+ yes pls
spellcoats: I DIDN'T ADD YOU BACK WHEN I CHANGED PLURKS fuck
i am a matchmaker
it's Dash!! Amon, Smaug apper
sup
i can't wait for smaug screaming
I got irl assfucked
but yeah that is a thign
MATCHMAKE ALL THE HAWKES
when I played Fenris he only accepted Marian was Hawke because she reminded him so much of Leandra, appearance wise
broke all the hearts
and then were awkward drunkards
lmao
I'll be over here
with beardy
She got him wasted SO WHAT'S THAT RED SHIT YOU'RE WEARING-- ARE THOSE RED PANTIES TIED TO YOUR WRIST
So Marian doing Garrett...
I think a safeword is easier
Incest, or masturbation?
INCESTURBATION
ok I want to headcanon Garrett saying that
"WAIT WAIT I CAN PROVE THAT I'M HAWKE. THE SAFEWORD...IS PICKLE."
And then nobody could eat pickles with a straight face.
STRAIGHT FACE
Isabela would have a field day.
"How do I know you're not sme illusion? Or just some mad man who can somehow replicate that beard-"
"Merrill. Pickle."
"GASP IT IS YOU"
"Merrill. Pickle."
"GASP IT IS YOU"
Fenris + anders = fender bender
^YEP
They're like two people that met and hated each other over a car accident
MAGES CAN'T DRIVE.
Or it could be a threesome catch phrase.
Welp, it's tuesday
YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE MORE PRACTICE WITH YOUR MASTER
OOOOH
TIME FOR MY SCHEDULED FENDER BENDER
That's the best kind
...of fanfic.
Did she make flyers and share them with everyone
HAHAH
LOL
Dramatic reading of fanfic