wanted a wiener whistle. Sigh.

Maybe someone will give you a wiener at home

yes but this was my opportunity to (safely) fulfill a lifelong dream to blow into the end of a wiener and see what happens.

it's part of my experiment to learn more about them. I also still want to investigate whether they float in the bath even though people keep telling me they don't. They just seem like they ought to.

if they water is boiling, they do

nobody is going to allow me to do that experiment.

You can do it a secret experiment. Like a super-villain.

it wouldn't be secret once the screaming started

must...not....comment.....

nono, you really must.

But screaming is part of super-villain experiments, so it would be ok

Nooooooo