how couture

limps at you pitifully.

duct tape?

that's not actually a lot LESS attractive than the strap flapping about right now.

Strapflap

slap.

there's some very decorative duct tape out now. Like, leopard print! Or you could just claim it's a big city trend. I hear it's huuuuge in Cheyenne

yes but I think flared trousers and mullets are still quite popular there, too.