I'LL GIVE YOU A NEWS STORY!!! Erm...

waits.

I'll think of something.

HURRY UP.

I might have all day but I haven't got all day.

OOH! "Hunt The Penis" Greetings Cards Invented By Genius

In an exclusive interview, the inventor said "I LIKE PENISES! AND CARDS!"

I'm not allowed to say penis in the paper, though. I got told off for trying to include a buttock crack last week. True story.

Best reason to get told off at work ever

I was a bit indignant, it was completely relevant to the story.

Buttock Crack Holds Key To Wyoming Mystery?

Would Crack Buttock be allowed?

possibly, yes.

and no, it was part of a description of what a naughty jailor tried to do to an inmate. Yep.

went for the tamer end of the description, in my defence. I didn't try to talk about foreskin at all.

First time for everything