Okay so, feeling a bit overwhelmed with life lately X_X; which considering how much my social life decreased, I shouldn't feel like this.

I finished one of my assignments, but I am still unable to pick up my internship paper which has been returned to me 5 times. It's like, everytime I pick it I have a flashback of getting it back and how

horrible it feels to get back a paper everytime you spend hours and hours working it and taking all the teachers feedback just to get it back again with new feedback

And I keep getting the feeling that one teacher has no idea what I did and the other keeps... forgetting everything I tell him about the work

and it is tiring to re-do a work for over 6 months...

which explains the phobia I am getting to it... but shouldn't stop me from actually working on it, since it isn't like it will help to just shut myself in my room and stare at it without doing anything.

then, yeah, 3 months outside

most of my close friends are now in other parts of europe... and some I lost to distance and... well, one was just... not that much of a good friend (need to get over it already).

3 months no, 3 years I mean

I am heading for my 4th and last year, and I feel that I was pretty much 3 years with my life on hold.

I feel like I do not have a life in the netherlands and not in Portugal either

Know that feeling, ugh Im still trying to keep afloat with that as well.

yeah, emigrating has those sore things X_X I just... wish I felt like I had gained friends instead of just losing people I liked

I mean, it's not that I could have stopped my group of friends here from leaving but, just feel so... weird.

best thing you can do is keep trying. As much as it hurts to see the paper come back, if you give up now it will be all for nothing. Friends come and go, it's going to be a bit rough, especially with -

Man, I know how you feel to some degree. I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people and I've felt really similarly about stuff lately.

loosing touch with them from time, work, school, etc. But things will look up. Just gotta stay afloat and just keep swimming.(sorry, I had to say it) It's scary with hovering in the unknown for all the things-

that make your life happier or a bit brighter. We all want answers. So I hope, very hope things can get better for you. Life is never easy but hey it's what makes it worth it in the end when things -

start looking up.

Yeah, the thing is, I start to feel that 99% of the time I am trying to survive emotionally.

mm, thats definitely understandable. Your emotional state can really be a big influence.

And well, I can manage that on my own. But just recently I sort of had a small shift which I wasn't expecting and now I feel a bit overflowned

Well, try to jump that hurdle and from there do some things that help ease your mind a bit

A couple of friends of mine (the few I have left here) introduced me to one of their friends which actually seems to have... well, fallen for me.

|D; Emotional states is why I quit RP and got such terrible grades once upon a time.

oohh..?

he is nice, inteligent, and well, it feels nice and i feel I could actually be interested in him... well, I am in a way

:> excellent!

but I keep feeling like this small thing is making me stressful more

I keep stressing over liking him and get distracted from my final year of studies

Ohhh whats stressing you about liking him?

I keep stressing over not liking him and hurting his feelings

Oh so its just conflicted emotions?

yeah, pretty much. Plus, it's like, I don't really date

well, I did it like, twice

...ahahaha man this really is me recently.

hmm hmm...:|a

Do you have any counseling programs at your school?

Yes~

well, they do, but this sounds way too silly to tell anyone

ovo counseling programs are awesome. <--says the counseling major

"hello, I'm Rita and life stresses me out"

Nooo its not

Its not at all, they will not judge you at all.

Yeah but... seriously, who the hell stresses over being asked out X___X;;;;

People go through various rough patches. Doesnt matter how silly it sounds, counselors are there to help and offer advice as an outside opinion

...I stress out about being asked out

;;

well--I use to.

; ; /hugs

I mean, I shouldn't be feeling so much pressure, it's not like I'll devastate the person if I end up not reciprocating his feelings

okay, it is possible, but if I go like that through life, I'll never actually interact with another human being

I need to actually try something I am not certain and not dismiss on the fear of hurting others and myself

it's a date and not drugs after all X___X

You can't help it. And this is true, it isn't the end of the world and yes, human interaction can be a nice thing once its warmed up.

As I said, the unknown can be pretty intimidating.

Yeah, I just wish I could identify my feelings under all this huge stupid fears of mine

Well, its going to be a bit of work but I believe you can do it. Also I still encourage the counseling. Talking to someone whose an outside opinion can be pretty refreshing

yeah, tho I'll have to wait to return to the netherlands... which at that point either things are worked out (some of things) or I am even worst than before.

re: "who the hell stresses over being asked out"--I do. Half of my counseling sessions have been focused on my anxiety over my relationship with my boyfriend, honest.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, seriously! Sometimes you just need help getting things sorted out.

^^^this

orz I have such bad trust issues that I had to go to counseling for. Its helped me a lot with my boyfriend t

; ; thanks guys. I feel a bit better

at least some of my head feels slightly less warped

<3 good a bit better is great progress

Also, why the hell do all the guys that see me in the.. well, almost cave man situations ask me out?! Seriously, my first date saw me drooling while sleeping in a classroom; my second one saw me shouting

in rage because my team was losing

This one saw me take a too much big bite on a doughnut and get my face and hair full of cream

Seriously, is this the flirting method to go?

idk maybe they like that in a girl>

Maybe they like that you're authentic around them?

yeah!

kay, had that date. It was actually quite nice... He was really pleasant and didn't pressure me onto anything

though I still have no idea how to react to compliments

Awww, I'm glad it went well!

:> aww well good, Im glad it went well too