On the one hand the Dude In Control fucks up, again, and apologizes, again, and all is supposed to be well and good.

On that same hand women and trans/queer folk are speaking out about uncomfortable they feel with 2000 rape apologists walking around with no one to reign them in.

On the other hand Gabe's apology reads like someone who, maybe, hopefully, finally, gets it. And that causes me conflict.

Because his apologies have read that way before. And the time before that. And the time before that.

Can't we have the anti-booth babe, inclusive con without that guy saying "pulling the Dickwolves shirts was a bad idea"?

i'm tired of it, i'm tired of the rollercoaster. my switch is stuck firmly in the "fuck PAX, fuck those guys" position from being slammed over to it one too many times.

they pretend to get it until the next time they fuck up and then they react the exact same way again.

I've heard really conflicting stuff about this last panel or whatever it was. Did he or didn't he say they were bringing the merch back?

they don't understand, they may never understand, they're sitting on millions at this point and will probably never know what it's like to be marginalized beyond their limited experience back when being a nerd

actually caused people to make fun of you

Morskittar - he didn't say they were bringing it back, he simply said it was a mistake to pull it in the first place

they clearly don't actually understand why people were so angry with them. or they don't, and never did, care, and were just paying lip service because they realized that they'd lose a lot of face otherwise.

i'm tired of getting my hopes up only to have them dashed against the rocks again and again. PA is dead to me.

I thought he was just summing up feelings about all of the back and forth.

"Everything we did after that initial comic strip was a mistake and I regret all of it."

pretty much in the same boat. Even in this newest essay, he says he still stands by the comic and explains the joke to the audience.

This, to me, is a clear sign that he still doesn't understand the issue and holds his artistic 'can do no wrong' integrity over any damage he may cause his audience.

I think it's an occupational hazard that comedians and writers will be insensitive in their humor. It's all about how they react. And in this case, it was back-and-forth, concession and bullying.

dude, he made a rape joke. which, initially, wasn't even that bad

but then he kicked up a huge shitstorm about it when someone went "hey, rape jokes aren't cool, dude"

he literally sold t-shirts in defense of his shitty rape joke.

that's not "occupational hazard" that's full-on michael richards territory there

he then proceeds to be super shitty to the queer community, and then, shocker, he decides to stir this shit up again

110% dudebro.

like, i don't need the original joke explained to me, thanks. i giggled at it the first time i read it, in fact. i "get" it. i just don't have a trauma that it triggered, and i think it was pretty cheap anyway.

that's what I said. The occupational hazard is the original joke. He seems to regret everything after, though I'm still not sure he gets it.

oh, sure. see, I feel like he's still too busy being weepy that a bunch of people don't "get" his humor to understand why what he said is problematic, and just wants them off his back.

hence, the Joke-Explaining

but perhaps that's a foot in the door. It's up to the community to hold him accountable and push him to grow the hell up.

My understanding is that he said/meant they shouldn't have pulled the merch because it just made things worse at the time.

But honestly, the whole thing has turned into everyone being hysterical about everything, so I don't really spend a lot of time on it.

I'm not really reading it like that anisoptera. But again, optimism and I like to see people grow. So I look for it all the time.

for the most part I've been where zannah is. It seems like one of those things that's now such a Thing that no one is looking to talk solutions, but rather express hurt.

which I don't find very justifiable in his case.

Pretty much any reaction other than a straight-up apology or choosing to not comment at all was going to make things worse. Each time they re-engage, they make it worse. This is like PR 101.

Despite seeing this as a multi-faceted issue, I'm leaning toward the "fuck those guys" side of things largely because they're so completely clueless, both on the issue and on how to behave in public.

"the worst thing a politician can say is "Let me explain what I meant by that""

I'm not excusing anyone's behaviour. But at the end of the day, we're all human beings.

No one is a saint, and I'm pretty sure everyone has done some equally stupid, crappy, or clueless things. Just not in front of a similarly sized, critical audience.

There is no move in this game that is going to make anyone happy, so it's just too exhausting to talk about anymore.

www.wired.com/underwire/...

I'm going to link dump, and some of you may enjoy the things I share and others may not. I do want to go on the record to say i'm not judging anyone who continues to go to PAX. I'm just so torn about how I feel

about all of it.

Lets talk about overreacting and the post that's linked: That Time I Told a Rape Joke.

the big one about that 2nd link is the difference in how one person "got it" versus how Gabe has "gotten it". This is all under the assumption that we're on the same page of understanding that each person acts/

reacts differently and that all of our lived experiences are different. It's not about how Gabe should have acted/reacted, but how the stark difference is apparent and obvious.

you and kouyou and whoever else should come to Seattle next labor day, and we'll play video games and get drunk at my place all weekend.

This is what does happen, even in "safe" places like PAX. And people need to be aware of how rape culture plays into what happened to

this person. I know that it's not the norm or standard. I know that the experience is also not even a "most". But it's "some" or even 'few" and that's too many for me, personally.

An open letter to Jerry Holkins from a trans game creator.

And yes, Shteevie, that sounds like fun. Ha ha ha!

And the last one I read yesterday about the whole ordeal.

that sounds like fun shteevie!

deinera, I read through your links because I didn't know the whole story. Thanks for sharing them.

Oh yeah. The "dickwolf" situation has been going on for years at this point.

yes, I see that now. Wtf is all I can say.