Her, "Is that a firm no, or one of those nos that's open to negotiation?" Me, "What do you have for me?"

Her, "I'll do extra chores on weeknights."

Me, "And?" Her, "I'll try to keep my closet neater." Me, "Okay, but there are a few conditions."

Her, "What do you have for me?" Me, "I have to set it up." Her, "And?"

Me, "You'll get the password when you're 18." Her, "How will I be able to log in?"

Me, "You never said you wanted to log in."

Her, "ALL of your cool points are out the window." Me, "Shhhhhh... listen... you hear that?"

Her, "Hear what?" Me, "Sounds like a fluttering of tiny wings..."

Her, deciding it might help to play along "Maybe..."

Me, "Yep, that's the flying fucks I don't give for cool points. You're 13, you have no need to be on Facebook, and it offers no material benefit for you."

Her, "I hate it when you have a point." Me, "A cross you'll have to bear."

Some days I feel like the worst mother on the face of the planet. But no child needs to be on Facebook. Not entirely sure I should mess with her head like that, but maybe it will build character?

nope, sounds like really good mothering to me. there's absolutely no reason a 13 year old needs to be on Facebook

Are you kidding? I wish my mother had been even half that concerned about what I was up to. Your kids are pretty lucky.

You have interesting methods and you don't talk down to your kids. That rocks. You are also being their mom - not trying to be their friend. Your children will thank you someday.

Couldn't say it better than Tym did.. you're great, and I hope I keep my wits about me half as well as you to, when my kids are 13

Meh, that degree of messing with her head is probably a good thing. It means that she will learn to come up with logical points ahead of time for her requests and that she will also weigh the merits of her

request herself. Those are INCREDIBLY important life skills that way too few children learn. You're an amazing mother.

<3 Thank you. I'm feeling a lot better about it all, today.

www.plurk.com/CadyA - You'll be fine. You have a good sense of humor and great values. You'll pass them on.

Alderson: thank you, Kat. Means a lot.

We let our girls have them but I have access to both on my tablets and only Carpe or I approve friend requests. Main usage is sharing pics

With other family members who don't get to see them often and then games like words with friends too cause those stretch their brains

But otherwise their fb access is greatly limited, no actual games on fb allowed period and no sending or accepting their own requests

Plus all emails for their accounts go into my mailbox to make it easier to keep tabs too but it won't be a free for all for them at all.