Pick a number, any number at all.

Multiply it by itself

now take the square root of it (get a calculator if you need to)

now... SUBTRACT the number you first thought of...

If you did it all right, you've arrived at the number of fucks I give.

(TA DA!)

bows

Let's see.... -7^2 = 49, SQRT(49)=7, 7 - -7= 14. You give 14 fucks?

That looks like that 'fuzzy math' those Republicans talk about....

Well, you said ANY number. I could have picked something weird, like i.

Usin' all words for math symbols... what If I were an Arizona Lawmaker? I'd be all confused and shit.

I can't talk - I turn the phone sideways to call my imaginary friends....

It more interesting to live at a right angle to reality.