I'm in a phase of my life where I love rping but I have a hard time bringing myself to tag

seeing something in my email both gives me something exciting to respond to

and fills me with a depressed ennui because I know that the final outcome will be just another thing I'll need to respond to in an endless chain of cause and effect and repeat

I need it to be a social activity. I get more out of talking to the other players about what our characters are doing than I do actually playing

and I do better with a specific "I am playing this particular character right now, I'll play that one tomorrow"

I like playing lady red because I have a group of people I can talk to about her and she has enough complexity in her current story that there are an infinate number of outcomes

most of which I can not control

I don't like having complete control

And I have had some really cool characters, ones I love and want to play, who are not suited for continious role play

Characters like Ryan and Arc who are anti social and highly private

characters where it's hard to justify them being involved in things

In the case of Arc, I'm flattered that my friend wants to play with her and keeps sending me email scenes with other characters

but I dislike that if she sees me online she'll ask me when I'll tag in

Arc hates being in the hedge, so why should I tag into all these scenes set there?

Arc hates interacting with other people, expecially groups, so why should I tag into all these group scenes?

they are these stupid, silly, vapid social scenes, where ICly my character should be pretending she isn't there

and one of the primary characters involved is a sexy-squirrel girl who makes my skin crawl because she's way too friendly and clearly trying to seduce the first mate

and the grammar is nigh non-existant

Arc still hasn't been approved for full play yet; I feel bad doing anything with her

and I feel worse not playing

I don't like these feelings

they're not fun

my charcater's not even officially in the game yet and I want to drop her

that's not a good sign

I get what you're saying :/

I'm actually struggling with rp right now too

Idk if it's a phase I'm going through or what, but I just lack a level of interest I used to have in my games. Even my psls I'm dragging on.