Considering I'm on the path to positivity, it's amazing how much self-loathing I still hold onto.

I'm attempting to love myself and stuff when I don't actually see anything to love.

And it makes me feel like I'm lying to myself cause I put on this outward show of positivity and healing when I feel like I'm collapsing inside.

But I'm writing all of this out because I am determined not to go back to self harm. I've been clean since January 18 and I'm not gonna fuck that up.

Hey sweetie, it's wonderful that you're moving towards positivity and self-love but if you don't feel genuine in some way about your outward show, do you know why that is? Have you meditated on things?

Or if there's anything else you want to say I'm here

EverydayPeople: Thanks darling, you're the best. I dunno, it's just hard sometimes. I genuinely do feel positive sometimes, and others I just...don't.

Do you feel any pressure to present positivity all the time? Because I don't think you should. you might not need me to tell you this but you're allowed to feel what you feel, just communicate

To people around you that if you are not in a great mood, if it's not personal to them let them know. You're just not feeling that great, not anyone's fault, it just happens.

And counting your blessings could ease your mind perhaps. You are here in this world, you have breath, and life, you have people and things that you care about, and people who care about you

Thank you, darling. I think I needed to hear that.