I realized that I can't ask people for anything. It fills me up with so much guilt even if I know that it wouldn't bother anyone

I can't ask for someone to RP with me, because then I think I'm bothering them and forcing them, even if it's not true and I know that

I can't ask people to hang out with me for the same reason, and trying gives me so much anxiety and panic

And this explains so much, explains why I was so depressed over the past few years, cause I couldn't ask my friends to hang out with me and so they hung out without me

[tmi] it's why I can't ask justin for intimacy

why I can't ask him to do certain things during intimate moments, even if it would help me and that's what he wants

[/endtmi] but I think it probably stems from all of the emotional abuse that I received from my mother

I also can't be assertive, which I guess is p much the same thing but a bit different?

It's something I really need help for and understanding

I totally understand those feelings ): I get anxiety from accepting things from people and stuff. I want to hear from you too.

This reminded me that I totally forgot to reply that night omg

I feel an almost physical restraint, something holding my tongue when I try to ask