and i know I shouldn't generalize but god just with the people I'm surrounded with I've yet to find many guys who have good personalities

whereas almost every girl I meet are girls I would love to hang out with

And yeah I've made some good guy friends but either I don't think about them in a romantic capacity or they don't think of me that way or both

It's like I'm bi but tired. For every 10 girls I meet that are attractive or have great personalities or both there's like maybe 2 guys who match that description as well

man i feel the fuck out of this, but a little different. like, now that i don't feel this terrifying pressure to marry one of those things some day i actually like dudes more than i did pre coming out

both aesthetically and as people. but only as friends, ever. and tbh even in a purely sexual way i'm waaaaaay more into girls than i'm into guys but every once in a while there's a guy that i'm into that way

but dating a guy? fuck nah. that's just so totally not my scene, like at all. like, never in my life have i met a real life boy that i thought i could love romantically.

so i'm probably technically girl-leaning bisexual but homoromantic. which is totally a thing! you can have preferences and still be bi, and your romantic orientation doesn't always match your sexual one

That's a good point. I always pictured splits like that as being primarily for like aromantics or asexual people. I just feel so weird bc I feel like I have a better chance with guys since that's the norm and

that's what would make sure there was no drama with my family

so I almost feel pressured to just try to find the right kind of guy

which brings me here. To the point where I'm done with trying to find any instead of trying to branch out bc it freaks me out with how conservative 3/4 of my family is

man, that sucks so bad. family can be so stressful, and it's really hard to create a good relationship when you're feeling pressured into it or like you have to keep it a secret. i hope it works out for you!

i still think about that, sometimes. about finding just the right boy so i don't have to come out to my family, don't have to cause waves, can just date him, marry him, have a couple kids and settle down into

the life they want me to have, to not disappoint or disgust them. but i mean here's hoping that both of our families take it better than we think they will! and that if they don't, we can handle it well

we can hope. thanks for this. in the end ill need to figure out what makes me the most happy and say fuck the rest. itll take time to find that confidence tho