thomas....

it's been 4 days. thomas, i thought we had an understanding....

put him on a milk carton

have u seen this spider

i told you he would betray us

what if he's lying in wait somewhere

and his hunger has become so profound that he'll crave human flesh

you...have a bathroom spider?

you named your bathroom spider thomas??

does he eat all the other gross bugs

he's lived in the heater since we moved in, and i was totally fine with that

i'd see him every morning, and then before bed he'd be on the other side

maybe he's just moved on

and it's been 4 days.... no thomas.....

got a better job in a radiator in another town

yes... he was probably eaing the silverfish

why'd he have to go

the economy is rough, even for spiders. he has to look out for himself.

i trusted him

play some linkin park, you'll feel better

MARZIAJKSDK

...ok but what a great name for a spider, though.

sadly i cannot take credit for that. i told king the spider needed a name and he yelled back 'thomas' immediately, so that's all him u3u

which i mean. i named my aloe plant grandma so i mean maybe i shouldn't be in charge of naming things

grandma and thomas

i don't want thomas to surprise me :c

i just want him to go back to his heater

maybe he was a she and had some spider babies and died

like charlotte's web

if you guys have a tiny little dish and put a little water in it and stick it in a corner closest to the heater, it might draw him back to it!

sometimes that's worse than when it's there

like where are you... fucker...

most spiders hang out in bathrooms bc of the water.

maybe he's on vacation....

murderbynumbers THANKS FOR THAT NIGHTMARE FUEL

LMFAO

1,000 TINY THOMASES

UR WELCOME

all making squeaky little sounds as they crawl out of the heater

he's probably chilling in your bed

marzi marzi marzi marzi marzi!

screams

chant ur name

WHY

'M LAUGHKAJGHKJASD\

because I haven't talked to you in a long time and this is how I remind you of my love

by invading ur dreams

this is like a dali painting only worse because it's spiders instead of ants

thanks char..... i love you too.....

thomas ... godspeed, crawly friend. I love bathroom spiders.

he a daddy long legs?

i'm not sure what he was? he was not smol. he was kinda scary looking tbh

could've been a wolf spider! they're pretty common inside houses

they're also super chill

or maybe a cat-faced spider ... also super chill :>

yeah i have noidea what it was

MIRI

LKJSKLDA

miri

that has too many legs

its a cat squid

cat spider ............. i want one

can you imagine how intense the kneading would be on a cat with eight legs

why are you doing this

to ensure the sweetness of your dreams?

farrons because she's prickly and impossible to kill

miri that would be so many paws on the boobs at night

that's 4 paws for each boob

LKJASLDKJ;ASD

sldkjfslkd crying at grandma omfg

SO MANY CLAWS IN THE NIPS

SO MANY

and you can't even be mad because it's still ... cute ...

so many paws to move around before spidercat butthole in your face

too many paws...

i just pray it doesn't have extra buttholes to match its extra paws

the truest struggle of cat owners

YEAH SAME ... my spider cat monster would only have one butthole

otherwise it would be a real monster

guys...

no, king. don't interrupt this very serious conversation about the nature of cat monsters and their theoretical buttholes

you'd need a way bigger catbox ......

and with all those paws, there'd be litter everywhere.

there'd be no escape

spidercats would live in your drapes, too ... so many shredded curtains, I can see it

think of the poor couch cushions

they'd be amazing to watch trying to turn at full speed on hard floors though

scratching posts destroyed in half the time ... that would get expensive

send a laser pointer through the kitchen, watch multiple pairs of paws scrabble wildly on the tile

exactly