I'm single in my late 20s so I'm already a failure and an old maid with no worth by Utah standards.

... funny I've always pictured you as being like. departed era leo in terms of accent.

IDK WHY JUST. THAT'S HOW MY BRAIN DO.

I have the accent when I try, haha

Also apparently I picked it up on certain words because my friends make fun of me for it.

(Alternatively: ask me questions about Mormons)

Woo, Utah.

You and me both are failures, lol. Not married and no 2.5 kids under the age of 5

Curiously enough, Grand Rapids, MI (Or, well, west MI in general) is a lot like this in terms of failure. I wasn't married before age 20, nor do I have children.

keep in mind that if you do have children and are married, you will be asked, "How old are your kids?" and "How long have you been married?" in that order.

I'm still pretty sure my husband's aunt was trying to figure out if our wedding was shotgun.

/snirk

Classy

Here it's obv married then kids because ~abstinence~

(Not actually but that's the mindset)

State average is 5 kids and, separately, women married at 19

like, you ever watch a BYU football game?

player gets hurt and the girl that comes onto the field

not his girlfriend, 90% chance that's his wife

Dating in Utah.. and I'm not exaggerating at all.. is you meet a dude and first thing you do is ring check him because there's a (literal) 60% chance he's married (higher in my age range).

Like you just assume he's married unless he says otherwise

Dating in Boston was such sweet freedom comparatively. It was a whole other world.

And if there's a 60% chance he's married, there's probs another 20-30% that he's dating someone.

i went to the gym once up there while visiting and was like - look at the hot dudes

oh wait, you're all probably married, am I right?

I just think it's ridic and hysterical. Here I've been told "Oh, you're 27? You shouldn't give up! There's always hope!" whereas in Boston I was told "You're 27? You probably haven't even started thinking about

having a family or any of that."

The rest of the world is amazing compared to Utah.

(Don't get my wrong.. Utah is clean and has great outdoors and other things, but the culture is awful.)

I cried for joy when I got to go to my uncle's for christmas and there was booze and i didn't have to watch every single thing I said

I don't mind watching my language generally (and mostly I'm around people who don't care, which is nice), but yeah it's weird sometimes. Like I wanted to join the TCM wine club but can't because I can't ship

wine to Utah. Or when I saw a tv show where they bought liquor in the Whole Foods and I was like "wait is that a thing"

(and I saw it last week not years ago)

well, utah's not a DRY state, so I assume they sell it, it's just not a hot seller I would imagine

but yeah, i enjoy looking when I visit, but I know I can't do any of the buying so to speak, lol.

In Utah you can only buy liquor/wine/normal beer at state liquor stores (no private stores, no grocery stores, etc), which are open roughly 9a-11p and closed on Sundays

You can buy Utah beer (3% or less) at gas stations, grocery stores, and p much all the normal places I would expect them to sell real alcohol in real states

It's also illegal to receive alcohol in the mail

And don't even get me started on the ridic bar/restaurant laws of alcohol, like the "intent to eat" law

goodness. well, if it makes you feel better, you can't mail alcohol into texas either so none of those subscription whiskey or wine sites work for texans either :/

which... seems very odd, but idk

odd indeed

Mass has some weird liquor laws too, but not quite as bad as Utah, haha.

So it was a step up for me

It surprises me that Idaho has almost no regulations

I mean not in a sketchy way.. just that it's normalized

Idaho clearly understands its residents

but then you can buy any kind of alcohol you want in texas, so the nonsubscription thing isn't so bad

haha