Like. I fucked up big.

Potential fraud bad.

Lose my license, never work in insurance again bad.

And it got brought to my attention at 10 PM.

So guess who just spent an hour having a full on panic attack?

Because god I fucked up.

I have a huge day tomorrow starting at 7:15 AM, and I'm not going to sleep a bit.

Because my entire career is in the balance of this one fuck up, and I know it.

can i just say i am legit furious with deana?

Im so pissed that she decided this was a smart thing to bring up to someone she kNOWS struggles with mental illness at 9 PM.

AND who she knew had a huge day the following morning

like

did you WANT lynn not to sleep?

if she had called you back i would have laid into her

Right now, a 36 hour psych hold sounds like bliss if I brought books. Because YAY AVOIDING ALL RESPONSIBILITY.

And Ativan.

I want some Ativan right about now.

And to just sleep for three days.

sorry honey

not letting you put yourself into a mental coma

besides after like

it's all i feel good for right now.

two hours inside

you would lose your shit

and want to leave

then they could give me more ativan.

stoppit

all i wanna do is sleep without an alarm.

and just... avoid everything.

i know

because oh my god i can't go out into the field with deana on saturday after this.

/hugs

Sorry friend. :c Hang in there. Either you can fix it or you can't, but either way, you'll be okay. There are always other options, and that's assuming the worst case.

Thankfully, I've been told it can be fixed. No loss of career. As long as it doesn't happen again.

Hoorah!!