In general, we're sort of touchy people and a light touch on the shoulder or a random hug is completely normal.

There's this one old guy I work with, though, who I feel like has been going out of his way to hug me kind of randomly? Not all the time, but enough that I noticed.

Last week, he asked me, COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED, "So what does your boyfriend do?" (which.. I'm single, so it's not like he knew I have a boyfriend and was trying to chit chat).

Tonight, he stopped his car on the way out with no professional reason to do so to give me a tight hug and a solid kiss on the cheek. I immediately told him it was inappropriate, he questioned, I reiterated.

I told him that kind of contact is personal to me. He said where he comes from, everyone kisses each other and it's nbd. I asked him not to do it again and he seemed to acquiesce.

Am I overreacting by emailing my boss to let him know about it? Not asking him to take action, but wanting him to be aware.

no because that way if he does it again, your blood already knows it was an issue.

Like a kiss on the cheek doesn't seem like a big deal?? But I was def uncomfortable and I do feel like it's escalating. :|a

that would make me uncomfortable too

if it's not something you normally do, i think it's worth noting it

you're not okay with it, and if it's escalated as you clearly believe it has, I think it's worth letting your boss know. it might be better to nip this quickly than let it escalate further

it might be a misunderstanding, cultural differences, but either way it clearly needs to be communicated clearly to this gentleman you are not comfortable with this and it must stop

NOPE that was super not overreacting, definitely not

if it was a genuine misunderstanding, then it won't happen again and things will be peachy. if you are right (which i think) then you've covered your bases and let the right people know.

There's a lot of small, casual harassment that I ignore as part of the job, but this is the first time I've felt genuinely uncomfortable and like I might not be able to shut it down.

Even by American standards that sounds wildly inappropriate to me. I think your approach is just right.

There's a chance that it could be a misunderstanding.

Document it anyway so that, going forward, you've established background

He might not realize you're uncomfortable but you being uncomfortable is enough of a flag of its own

I can see this being a possible misunderstanding but for me that would depend on things like the guys age vs yours too....

like he COULD just be fond of you in a totally safe friendly way and didn't think it was weird at all

partly bc he's a lot older

if you weren't comfortable it's worth mentioning though for the above reason of 'if it happens again you've mentioned it'

He's like 70ish. Has already proven to be very sexist in his thinking.

I realized this morning that what made me so uncomfortable was that it was really tight and not the kind of thing I could easily pull away from/reject.

And the kiss wasn't a light, French style greeting. It was solid.

I emailed my boss and he was, thankfully, very supportive. Hopefully it won't be an issue moving forward, but it makes me angry that this is even a thing I have to think about.