Shadow is either Within Temptation's "Gothic Christmas" or Weird Al's "The Night Santa Went Crazy", depending on whether he's feeling more edgelord or cranky at the moment.

Please just envision Mew attempting to Baby It's Cold Outside Kita.

This is a thing of beauty and I approve.

"Mew it's barely 45 degrees out I think I'll be okay"

(Also Akio is the creepy date-rapey interpretation of that song, full stop.)

"/not even surreptitiously turns on snow machine"

"/stuffs snow down the back of Mew's shirt"

kill akio tbh

Well yeah obviously

"Akio Got Run Over By A Reindeer"

i can't believe we've all adopted byrd's "kill him tbh" and no one had applied that to akio yet