(should probably sum some of these up)

Solid Snake tl;dr but seriously u can just go trawl his wiki page

Snake is a clone of the greatest soldier ever, and was basically made to be The Perfect Soldier by the US government. things didnt go as well as expected. he didnt even know he was a clone until he was in his thirties

clonedad Big Boss went rogue when snake was in his 20s, snake found out when he was sent to infiltrate some facility in bumfuck africa and found out his commanding officer, big boss, was in charge

the thing is big boss was commanding that mission

turns out he was secretly operating that place and the government didnt know and kept hounding him to send someone there. he sends his best dude who goes "missing", and was like oh noooo guess its hopeless

government is like... "do it again"

big boss, in frustration, sends his clone son who is a rookie, fully expecting him to be splattered against a wall somewhere. he expected snake to die. so then he could say "oh noooo it failed again time to give up forever (leave me alone)"

snake, for the record, really really respected and looked up to big boss- he was probably almost like a father figure, which is hilarious considering he IS his father

snake kills big boss the end BUT WAIT THERES MORE

snake went off to become an alcoholic in canada for a few years, government grabs him and is like hey wait theres this place we need you to infiltrate between russian and the middle east because METAL GEARRRRRR

he goes, big boss is somehow not dead, pulls a LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER and then tries to kill snake with a machine gun while snake has no weapons

he manhandles a can of hairspray and a lighter into a flamthrower and burns dad to death

he doesnt take it well

TIME TO FLEE TO ALASKA AND BURY HIMSELF IN 50 HUSKIES AND LOADS OF ALCOHOL TO HIDE FROM HIS TRAUMA

fifty. huskies.

anyways after 6 years government kidnaps him again and is like "go to infiltrate this place and rescue these big wigs and also defeat the terrorirsts threatening to blow up washington"

nakes like yeah ok i guess that would suck and he goes to do the thing

finds out everything he knows is a lie, meets the biggest weeb and his future best friend, he has a twin fucking brother who has little understanding of 8th grabe biology, and he fights a giant robot again

fun!

then he and weebman run off into the distance together to fight more giant robots because everyone and their fucking uncle is making giant robots around the world now

and then in nexusverse, snake somehow wound up dealing with all these fucking weirdos and found a family in tori after 'family' jhad only meant bad things to him before. hes working to fix his alcoholism better than before, and somehow got romantically involved with a villain from his clonedad's past in the sixties because fuck things making sense

if tori didnt want multi-universal time-traveling shit going on maybe she shouldnt have built her house on a dimensional rift/indian burial ground

to learn the not-tl;dr version you can go here: Solid Snake

or my rewrite of it, here: Solid Snake - CAHniverse Wiki!

Snowe oh god where do i start

first of all

play Star Stealing Prince you fucks its really good i guarantee it

anyways

so theres these things called Lords and Demons, right? theyre really similar but also really different. Lords are like angels except not really they dont even have wings. demons are just slightly edgier looking lords and live in the ground as opposed to the sky

anyways they hate each other

lords, however, are winning, and basically rule existence. zilia, who is the oldest demon ever, is pretty pissy about that. she GAVE LIFE to the world in the first place and the lords are ruling it with an iron fist, even though an old lord had to give her life so that life could exist in the world

so zilia makes xiri. hes basically a walking nuclear bomb.

he has the power to make dreams come true, but in moderation- however, if he could get into the land of the lords and access the pool of magic that fuels Everything, his potential is literallt limitless and he could rewrite existence, and get rid of the lords

lords dpont like that, so they go to some asshole on an island whos butthurt about mortality and are like "hey if u summon this demon... he can make ur dreams come true... " so he does and he and xiri are working together to make a paradise

but then the lords are like "hey did u know hes totally holding out on u? u should eat him. and steal his magic "

dude is like "yeah ok" and eats xiri who is implied to be his lover and what the fuck, Soan

turns out the lords lied

anywaysxiri drives soan crazy in his head out of anger and convinces him to kill everyone on the island and then soan has to be all alone with his head xiri for like a century

elsewhere, lords got a prophecy that this princess will have a child that will destroy the lords supremecy. they get her uncle to lock her in a tower rapunzel style. some dude rescues her and they get married and she gets her kingdom back

lords dont like this. they burn the entire place down

edgar and lina grab the like 20 living people in the kingdom left and flee, and end up on asshole island

soan likes them so he lets them hang out and shows them all the cool shit xiri made him, like his immortal paradise

they get jelly

they make a plan-

lina has a kid with soan, wee baby Snowe! oh boy snowes actually relevant in his own backstory nnow

when hes old enough, they take snowe and a little girl named astra to soan, and cast a spell that takes xiri from him, and traps xiri in snowe, with astra as the witness- xiri cant leave snowe unless astra dies

but they used magic to reroute the benefits of xiri and soans magic, so snowe gets fuckall and edgar and lina get soans immortality and paradise

and then they fake their own deaths so the important part of their soul and mind goes to his paradise

but not before putting all sorts of memory spells on literally everyone, especially snowe

there were a lot of ppl who lost kids and a lot of kids who lost parents, so they just... fucked with everyones memories so the childless parents thought the orphans were their kids

and also made the townspeople not age

and also tied their emotions and memories to snowe

so literally if snowe was happy, everyone else was happy, and it was an infinite feedback loop

and then fucked with snowes memories so he never notices the others dont fucking age but he is, and even able to give himself false memories if real memories bother him too much

(this gave him mild brain damage)

early on, xiri was mad but... decided the kid was innocent and wanted to maybe make friends??? they made snowemen together and xiri taught him how to use his magic

lina found out and tortured and silenced xiri so he couldnt communicate with snowe for ten fucking years

so when he regains the ability to influence snowes dreams, hes angry and spooky and creepy

and he lets slip some info about astra, so snowe goes looking, finds out his parents sealed a girl in a tower

decides to rescue the princess like in a fairy tale!

he bites it

but only mostly, xiri made sure he didnt die all the way, but its enough for all the spells tied to snowes life to break

all the townspeople are suddenly starting to remember everything and are scared out of their minds, the magic keeping the kingdom warm is falling apart, etc

snowes advisors tell him oh yeah u can totally fix the link by going to this paradise in the sky

turns out his parents were there and dont remember him and try to kill him, but not before torturing him some

he casts the spell his advisors told him, but it just gives him the memories of xiri being sealed in him

and then he kills his parents and paradise crashes into the sea

turns out the advisors lied bc there were still spells keeping them from telling snowe the truth, so they had him god FIND the truth

then they scramble to find the boat they showed up on 18 years ago, but the original king has woken up and is PISSED AS FUCK

they fight him and knock him out and leave-

but then, the timeline splits

in the first timeline, snowe didnt do anything about the increasing nightmares xiri has been giving him while trying to browbeat him into killing astra

and then, finally, snowe loses control

xiri takes over, kills astra, which of curse causes her bodyguards and other people to attack snowe, and it was a horrible chain of events that led to xirisnowe killing everyone and nearly burning the boat to pieces and also burnt snowe to pieces

snowe \... lives, and is found when the boat washes up in some place. he has amnesia and a lot of scars

hes basically adopted by some rly cute priestesses who immediately like him a lot, and they take him to the temple and he starts making a new life! its cute! except bad things are starting to happen in the world because theres a new king who is a demon and is wrecking the lords shit.

lords decide they wanna weaponie snowe after snowe sent a pillar of flame the size of the wrath of God during a mental breakdown when he remembers he killed everyone he loved

they flee the temple

shenanigans occur, and they run into hiante, astras skeleton bodyguard, who is still undead and PISSED

he forces snowe under threat of death to Fix This

snowe goes to the castle to meet King Xiri

but first, a Good Lord wants to help, and gave snowe a plan... eat xiri, and use xiris magic and the lords magic to reset the timeline

Xiri is overjoyed to see snowe and immediately starts pampering him and taking care of him and snowes like "haha i want to die" because he has to betray xiris trust when xiri clearly likes him so much

he manages to do it and it breaks his fucking heart and also xiris heart, and the timeline resets

in the new timeline, before fighting the original king, snowe seeks help from other demon erio. they go into xiris dreamland and kick his fucking ass and stick him in a groundhog day loop so snowe can have some sleep

(man. poor xiri. all this getting eaten and none of it in the way he wants!!)

things go well!

for like a year!!!

everyone settles in on the mainland and aside from snowe being incapable of producing his own bodyheat, hes happy!

and then xiri gets out of the groundhog day loop and is Pissed

because unlike everyone else xiri remembers

he starts giving snowe even worse nightmares than ever before, and even make snowe start remembering the old timeline, too

and when snowe remembers just enough... ALL his scars from the previous timeline come back

he literally wakes up with burn scars all over his body and scars on his face and no use of his right eye.

everyones like okay, fuck this, we need to get xiri out of you

so starts the quest!

but literally everywhere they go they run into Problems

because, see, when snowe reset the timeline, it strained the worlds magic source, the crown, from which the lords take their power, so much that it broke

but also, reality is slowly tearing itself apart, and phantoms are appearing in greater numbers

phantoms are what happens when either a ghost lingers too much and goes crazy and becomes an evil beast

OR someone dies so traumatically, they skip the ghost phase and go straight to Angry Phantom phase

(also: star stealing prince more like Everything Is Fucked, Snowe Fucks It Worse, Everything is So Problems Why Is This)

the phantoms are coming from the alternate timeline- it still exists, beside the main world, but everyone in it died to fuel the spell to make a new timeline

or something to that affect

basically snowe killed an entire dimension

and theyre mad and coming to this dimension to fuck shit up

nd the lords are mad because theyre losing control now that theyre weakened

snowe keeps running into this lord who keeps wrecking his shit and also wrecking erios shit

they flee to the temple which is supposedly run by a "nice lord" to ask her for help

also, snowe and erio, while teleporting, get their teleport hijacked and land back in the island. Soan did it! hes like "hey guys so sorry about before but its cool, im chill now, i got a haircut and everything. anyways, help me get back to the mainland"

they do, using xiris magic, which pisses xiri off because he hates soan for breaking his heart

and he hates being used

so anyways they visit the "good" lord, and she goes into snowes dreams to meet xiri... and promptly starts fucking things up and makes xiri lose control of his magic

xiri is struggling to fight the lord, but also get control of his magic again, but he cant thanks to the lords corruption

and xiris magic, acting on its own, and fueled by a Killing Instinct from seeing astra after the lord drags astra in, the lord redirects xiris magic upon snowe instead of astra...

snowe gets his throat slit

erios panicking and trying to heal snowe outside the dreams

snowe wakes up and its a combination of his and xiris anger and self defense that he sets the entire place on fire and accidentally reopens the wound and erio has to heal him again and haul snowe out of there

astra destroys what snowe didnt destroy, this time with lightning, and uses wind to literally mop the floor with the lord before they flee into the desert

anyways they continue their sad quest to try and get xiri out of snowe, xiri is still pissed and isnt cooperating and keeps giving snowe nightmares

they follow a trail of breadcrumbs until they get to this city that MIGHT have something useful... but then that one asshole lord thats been ruining everything shows up and

well, ruins everything

hes forced erios sister to elp him catch snowe and keep erio away from helping, and hes gonna execute snowe in front of the whole town

he... semi-lies to the people, saying snowe is a demon child and its his fault that the phantoms are wrecking everything

nd while its TECHNICALLY true, he left out all the context, so that riles the lynch mob

xiri will die forever if snowe dies and also he DOES like snowe (erio won his way to Xiri's 'i dont want to kill you' side by saving snowes life)

so hes BEGGING snowe to let him have control, hell wreck zuans shit and save them both

snowe refuses until the axe is literally swining towards his neck, and he relents, and gives xiri control

immediately, the executioner and zuan are on fire, the execution stand is on fire, xirisnowe kills zuan... and then xiri decides hey, wow, what a great opportunity to go kill astra!

snowes like FUCKING GOD DAMMIT XIRI

and hes trying to set himself on fire to stop xiri, but xiri aint having it this time, and starts direction the fire snowe is casting AWAY from snowe... which, you know, is into the buildings and the peoples

snowe knows xiri is redirecting the fire, but he keeps casting fire anyways in desperation

snowe kills a lot of people

xiri is going after astra, but then erio tackles him and teleports them both to [random location]

xiris like 'welp' and immediately gives control back to snowe bc whatever

snowe doesnt take what just happened well and sinks into a suicidal depression where he almost kills himself with a knife, if it werent for erio stopping him and trying to talk some sense into him-

hich is difficult because snowes convinced himself no one actually likes him and theyre just helping because theyre nice

and that erio only helps because astra tells him too (erio used to hate snowe a lot)

and snowe is even upset about kissing erio (yeah that happened, snowe and soan hung out and snowe drank a lot of whiskey and drunkkissed ario and ario was like Okay Then)

erios like OKAY WE CAN TALK ABOUT MAYBE GAY LATER I PROMISE BUT ALSO I PROMISE I REALLY LIKE YOU??? AND IM GONNA HELP YOU??? AND ILL LIKE YOU AFTER YOURE BETTER, AND I WONT LET YOU DIE

and snowe is like okay

xiri is absolutely stunned, because snowe was ready to kill the both of them

they finally agree to work together, and xiri steadily becomes calmer and more helpful and thoughtful from there

HOWEVER, IN NEXUSVERSE

snowe was still in the middle of the suicidal tendencies when he got teleported into nexusverse and maf games

with xiri inexplicably with his own body because crossdimensional magic

so things are... going a bit differently

and snowe and xiri are an item now, snowes making friends and struggling with his Issues, and xiri is also struggling to work through his Issues, but it helps that zilia has been nexusverse'd in and shes finding it worrying but dellightful to be here

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SNOWE, HOWEVER...

hes still from roughly around the time the game takes place, before meeting astra

lina never found out he and xiri were communicating, so he grew up with a slightly insane demon in his head

xiri has... problems, but he and snowe are very, very close

this snowe is a bit more cynical and bitter, but still very sweet

but hes also Ready to kill astra and free his best friend

especially since Xiri has likely promised to take snowe away from this awful island and this awful fake kingdom with him

somehow, growing up with a xiri in his head has made alter snowe slightly more charming. slightly.

also behaves more regally, probably from his head xiri being all 'royalty is powerful and cool and fancy and stuff'

tl;dr Poor Snowe

and Poor Xiri too tbh

and also play Star Stealing Prince You Fucks

Clemens finally a fast one!

he is a magic shapeshifting deer man who lived on a magic monochromatic island with living tree people

he fell in love with a tree person! this wasnt taken well, so they left for the mainland

tree person took root and they lived a nice quiet life

until tree got a mainland tree disease and fucking bit it and clem was very upset

now hes off trying to be the greatest botanist ever so help plants not be sick ever

and also exploring the world bc why not

Fae

hes french! and also from a world where shit like harpiest and probably centaurs and stuff exist, but arent treated as well as humans

aes father is from an old noble family that still holds a noble title, and his mother was a mistress who bailed after having a kid

fae has... problems. hes massively emotionally unstable- too much emotion causes him to overload and meltdown, and usually ends up with him throwing up

hes also physically hypersensitive, which has its ups and downs. small pains become minor pains, but it works the other way with pleasure, too

hes also albino and sensitive to sunlight, but that doesnt stop him from enjoying gardening

he also is obsessed with baking and wants to open a bakery- his older brother, who is snotty but also loves fae, decides to bail on the family and takes fae with him to america and helps him open a cute seaside baker on the east coast

hurray!

WHAT A SURPRISINGLY UNTERRIBLE BACKGROUND?

HURRAY!

Artyom

and let's ruin that immediately!

okay first of all, the world ended in 2013. world war 3 started, apparently between china and someone, and china shot their missiles, and the other people shot theirs at china, and then chinas friends shot back, and the other persons friends shot at those friends chain reacting until everyone was shooting nuclear missiles at each other at once

coincidentally, i would like to inform everyone that until the year 2013 in the real world, 'beer' was classified as a soft drink, rather than alcohol, in Russia

just throwing that out there

anyways bombs fall everyone dies

however, maybe 50k or less people in moscow, russia managed to get into the metro system before the bombs vaporized everyone

now, see, the cool thing about the moscow metro system is it was actually built for this exact scenario!

back in the cold war, they specifically built the metro system to double as nuclear bunkers in case of a nuclear war

and it worked!

so the people are struggling to survive in the metro tunnels, luckily some people managed to bring in, like, pigs and stuff, so not everyone is starving

settling in, making underground shanty towns, etc

artyom and his mom (there is never any word on his fathers existence, ever. was his mother single? did his father die earlier? did he die in the nuclear war? was he just a deadbeat who ditched his pregnant woman? WHO KNOWS)

anyways artyom is a lil tot and he and his mom are living in a station

LITTLE DO THE PEOPLE OF THAT STATION KNOW, but just beyond the walls is a mASSIVE rat nest

like, fuckoff huge

eventually, the rats bust in

its a literal flood of rats, a tidal wave of rats, eating everything in their path, including people

some guards happened to be at the station platform with a transport when the wave was coming and they were starting that fucker up fast so they could flee

artyoms mom runs up at the last second and hads toddler artyom to one of the guards before shes devoured by the rats right in front of him

they flee a few stations away where flamethrowers are put to great use against the ratwave

anyways the guard, Alex, has this poor traumatied orphan on his hands and decides "i love him, hes mine now" and adopts him

and its my headcanon that the Rat Event is what caused artyom to become mute from trauma

anyways artyom grows up in the metro, hes raised as well as Alex can, Alex winds up being the dude in charge of a quiet little station that finds success in making and exporting mushroom tea, which is one of the few luxuries the metro allows

artyom has friends, is obsessed with books, plays guitar, collects post cards, smokes weed sometimes (and then one of his friends got killed by bandits while artyom and other friend were playing hooky to get high, good job idiots(

but then The Dark Ones arrive

theyre weird mutants- oh yeah, theres fucking mutants all over the place, especially on the surface, but some nasties underground, too

The Dark Ones dont kill, though- mere contact with them makes people go crazy, basically melts their brains

and they just keep coming, more and more

and it happens to be artyoms fault

because when he and his friends were munchkins, they decided to run away and go see the surface, opening one of the big doors, only to get attacked by mutants, and running away, forgetting to close the door behind them, leaving it open for the dark ones to come in years later...

what artyom DOESNT remember, is he was saved by a dark one, who spoke to him and linked with him, and blessed him with mild psychic powers and the ability to withstand psychic phenomenon that would melt other dudes brains

and what he doesnt realize, is the dark ones are trying to come find and talk with him- theyre actually mega peaceful and want to help mankind, and need artyom to be their translator

but he forgot and everyones like Oh No the dark ones are ruining us

and then artyom's fucking hero Hunter shows up, an old friend of Alex and one of the Rangers, who protect the people of the metro. he is also one of the brave few who ventures onto the surface for stuff

anyways he shows up, sees whats happening, and tells artyom hes gonna go deal with the dark ones... and if hes not back in 3 days, take a message from him to the guy in charge of the Rangers in Polis

he doesnt come back, so off Artyom goes

artyom winds up going on this 8 day long whirlwind adventure through the tunnels and stations, makes a friend who bites it, deals with bandits, deals with REALLY SPOOKY SHIT, creepy silhouette ghosts, the dark ones struggling to communicate with him and ending up fucking with his mind,

he ends up getting really good at making his way through mutants, bandits, reds, nazis, etc

at one point he literally murders an entire red army AND the entire nazi army they were fighting against. single-handedly, in the dark

they were all just dead after artyom passed through

he gets to polis, who are like :/ we dont feel like helping

miller, tho, is like Fuck That and grabs artyom and some rangers to go find D6, a secret military bunker

they find it, have to fight a living biomass for control, and turn the place on, and its got weaponry galore... AND MISSILES

they decide to take out the dark one nest with the missiles, but they need to use a machine to aim it, and to do that they have to get out and fight waves of mutants and climb a really tall tower to point the aiming machine at the nest

it ends up being up to artyom to do it

there are two endings:

in both, the dark ones realize artyom doesnt get it, and in self defense, try to kill him by fucking with his mind while his body is still moving, trying to get him to chuck himself off the tower

the spirit(? its unclear) of hunter finds him, and says something hed said before 'if it's hostile, you kill it.' and gives artyom a gun- which he shoots the dark one chasing him with

he wakes up on the top of the tower, with a few seconds left before the machine is done calibrating, and a dark one dying nearby. and artyom still has the gun.

IN THE GOOD ENDING, he realizes the truth, that the dark ones only want peace, and recalls the words of another mentor figure he met, a spiritual man named Khan who has learned to live alongside the weird unexplainable phenomenon without trying to destroy everything

artyom shoots the machine, causing it to crash down and cancel the missile strike, saving the dark ones, who then make proper contact with humanity through artyom, and head towards a more hopeful future...

IN THE BAD ENDING, artyom doesnt realize the truth, and the dark ones are genocided to death

the bad ending is the canon ending... oops

next game starts with artyom a year later, having not handled genociding a peaceful race well, but hes a real ranger now!

and khan shows up, saying he saw a survivor of the dark ones!
miller is like NO KILL IT and sends artyom and anna out to do so

artyom finds and chases down the baby dark one, but then gets knocked out and kidnapped by nazis

in the nazi prison, theres some reds! one of them is defiant and executed, the other is like haha fuck that ill tell you whatever u want just dont kill me and the nazis are like yeah ok, and turn to artyom...

only for the red to jump up and knife one nazi, while artyom helps and grabs the second so the red can knife him too

red cuts artyom free and gives him the knife while he takes the nazis gun... and thats how artyom met pavel!

they make their way through the nazi prison and pavel is excessively charming the entire time, and then they have a badass escape scene where artyom takes a bullet, pavel refuses to leave him and carries him to a trolley while shooting nazis, and they ride away

artyom called pavel a hero

shortly after, theyre still in nazi territory, and pavel gets captured... artyom wont have it, and murders his way through the place to rescue pavel

they carry on through horrible spider tunnels, rescuing each other repeatedly, and swinging across gaps while holding onto each other

they go across the surface, where they find a crashed airplane, and they both has a vision of the final moments of the people on the plane...

hen they wake up, pavel is without his gas mask (the air on the surface is too nuclear to be breathable)

artyom saves pavel again!

then they make their way to another station, that is the cultural center of the metro- they have a stage there, and do live entertainment, singing and dancing and stuff!

pavel has promised to get artyom to polis, and even past the red line

first he takes artyom to one of the shows!

and then they go to have a nice dinner!!

they start drinking, and artyom getting wasted really fast, and pavel wont stop talking about communism

and then some red officers show up, pavel apologies, and artyom realizes hes been drugged and passes out...

wakes up being dragged through the red line, with pavel all like hey if you just betray your guys you can join us and we can be best friends!

artyom is handed over to the guy in charge of intelligence who is also controlling the guy in charge of the red line in total, through blackmail. artyom wont betray the rangers so hes tortured

he escapes, tho, and hes PISSED

he escapes from the red line and is chasing after pavel and also the dark one, all the while becoming aware of a conspiracy the reds are doing

he chases pavel to a flooded station and they have a little fight, before pavel escapes, and artyom has to make his way across a swamp on the surface

fighting demons and weird mutant crustaceans

he finds the rangers again! and theyre already making plans about what to, when the reds attack

lot of rangers are killed, anna is kidnapped because shes millers daughter and they can use to to get miller to obey

artyom is PISSED

hes chasing the reds and the dark one again, but he keeps losing track of the dark one- but then he comes across the reds plan

they secretly infected an entire station with weaponized ebola, and they 'conveniently' showed up to help!... by burning the place and everyone in it down

artyom kills his way through that mess, and finds the red who kidnapped anna- lesnitsky, who was pretending to be a ranger, and thus betrayed them all

artyom is given the choice to take off his mask, or anna dies, so he does and lesnitsky bails while anna and artyom, without gasmasks in the burning ebola-infected air, struggle to get to the next station

they make it, and are put in quarantine

where theyre like OH GOD WE MIGHT DIE... and then anna comes on to artyom and is like MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN and artyoms like UH OKAY 8( and they bang

next day theyre given a clean bill of health and artyom IMMEDIATELY BAILS and finds Khan

theyre gonna go find the dark one!

in fact, they find an underground sewer river Khan calls the river of fate-

and just before that they found a weird disconnected phone that started ringing... khan said "you pick it up, i think its for you' and artyom does and hears his mothers voice calling his name... spooky

anyways they go through the river of fate which is TRIPPY AS FUCK and goes through artyoms memory of killing the dark ones, and then finds where the dark one Will Be in a little while, on a train being destroyed by reds... and then the river dumps them nearby where the train is going to be

artyom chases the train, and rescues the baby dark one, and they get to the surface together, because the underground air is poison to the dark one

they then Connect and have a psychic link, and as artyom crosses the surface, they start to understand and learn about each other, and artyom gains a new perspective on the world, and how to make his way through without hurting or interfering with the wildlife

eventually, he finds the reds again, and comes THIS CLOSE to killing lesnitsky... but he lets him live, and the little dark one is like yes forgiving good, considering not kill is good

then they run into pavel...

pavel has orders to kill artyom, and hes yelling at his dudes to obey the orders, artyom kills the whole squad and works his wak to pavel, who shoots erratically like hes trying to put on a show without actually hitting artyom

dark one points out he can feel no killing intent from pavel, only sadness

artyom gets to pavel, whose now injured, and he and the dark one go memory diving to get the rest of the reds plans, and then artyom and pavel are in like, a psychic dimension where the souls of the damned are trying to pull pavel in with them and kill him

YOU CAN CHOOSE TO LEAVE PAVEL AND HE DIES

but of course, artyom chose to save him... and in the real world, pavel is passed out... and artyom gives him a fresh gasmask filter and makes pavel more comfortable, before leaving...

they get back to the rangers in time to tell them whats happening, they reveal the truth at a farcical peace conference the reds were holding with polis and the nazis, and then the rangers go back to the bunker to prepare for the incoming red army

they fight really well!!!

but while the rangers is like 200 supremely good soldiers, the reds have THOUSANDS of cannon fodder to throw at them

miller reveals he has d6 set to blow if they look like theyre gonna lose- so itll take out the red army, and keep them from getting ahold of more bio weapons, because their plan is to make the entire metro communist by using bioweapons to kill everyone who isnt a communist

anyways, a FUCKING ARMORED TRAIN blows in and wrecks everyones shit, artyoms all beaten and bloody, big bad comes waltzing in, miller is down two legs

artyom grabs the self destruct button-

the bad ending, if artyom hadnt been a good noodle, he blows the whole place up, himself included

the good ending, which i consider canon- the baby dark one returns, revealing he found a hidden vault full of other dark ones, and they use their psychic powers to beat up the red army and save the day

and then the dark ones leave and its very bittersweet

my artyom then found out he got anna pregnant and felt very Bad and Responsible so hes married her and is Unhappy about it

but its ok because hes in nexusverse now!

in sum:

ANYWAYS WOW AM I BAD AT TL;DRING THINGS HAVE FUN WITH THESE MESSES

nearly 300 comments letter

later

totally a teal deer!!

ANYWAY

did snowe want to just be hugged forever

because ris just might

i love everything

snowe might be okay with being hugged forever tbph

poor baby

gonna snug this baby,

gonna hug this baby,

gonna pamper him and keep him warm

xiri you are like at least 40% of the problem,

look that means he's less than half right,

lina and edgar and the fuckin lords are the other 60%

that's true but still!!