no one gets any money for me, not even me, it's no surprise we're struggling

plus we got no money on Monday full stop because of a fucking error with transactions at the bank which meant we had to sell a bunch of stuff just so that we could eat for the next few days

I'm so tired of worrying about money... I'm paranoid about my appearance because I can't afford clothes that don't have holes, or make up to hide the imperfections I hate, or hair dye to patch up my hair

I look like a real mess rn, I'm actually super depressed by it and rather anxious because I just want to feel pretty for once? I want to go out, do whatever it is adults do in their spare time, and feel good

I'm struggling to get the money together to buy rat food and I really need some soon but I'm not getting paid for cat sitting until next week... I've had the same meal the past few days because we can't afford anything else and my life pretty much sucks rn

I've been getting suicidal recently, a lot more than normal, and I've had no one to turn to because my number of friends has dropped recently thanks to fucking anxiety

I'm p. sure people I went to school with are back in the bay but I don't think they wanna see me anymore because my anxiety held me back from messaging them while they were away so I don't think we're close anymore

I'm just so tired and my life is so fucking piss poor and mundane, I hate it

I don't really talk much to people anymore because I have no idea where I stand with them... or if they'd be interested in what I had to say? all I talk about these days is Fallout and rats, I'm a pretty boring person, lmao