Just fucking hell.

I'm so tried of just being slapped down every time I bother trying to crawl out from under my rock.

It hurts.

who do i need to kill

or at least mentally command pigeons to shit on

Everything? Fuck. This time it was my aunt. It shouldn't feel this bad. He screamed at me and called me stupid. the word stupid shouldn't cut this much.

she**

Ok so. I have to walk and get my sister from pre-school every Thursday and Friday right? And we walk by the water treatment place and sissy asks questions and I answer if i can. Well Once She asked where they were taking the water they were filling into the big ass tank we keep seeing them fill and drive off with right?

So we asked the man standing there and he told us they deliver it to peoples houses. and that was that.

anyway We were talking to mama about the little lesson things that happen while we walk and we told her about this case and she was interested. Cause she's getting a pool and well filling it that way would be easier right? So she asked me to ask.

I totally forgot until we saw them again today and sissy was like Oh Hey! So I went to ask. ' How much would it be to have this tank vague hand waving at big ass tank delivered near the city park.

I got the answer and left it at that and took sissy home. Told my aunt.

And got bombarded with questions about who and what and size and where and just half yelling at me. and I'm just like.... flails I don't know. And like i get it. Anyone else in my family would have spent an hour getting all the details and i just have the vague The big ass tank I see every Thursday would be 50 dollars... So i'm stupid and

don't now how the would works and if I'd just pull my head out of my ass and.....

screams forever

jfc she needs to calm her ass the fuck down

it's hard for me to even look at a man much less ask a strange big truck driver a question. I was super happy.

So now i'm just in a puddle of tears and anger and upset blah

Every time i unturtle even a little....

it can be anything even cooking dinner.

and the bigger it is the harder the actual universe seems to smack. trying to get your ged? Welp. Nope.

being called stupid shouldn't have be curling up in tears and mental screaming.

if i couldn't rant this way i'd be curled up in a ball in front of the fucking fridge again sobbing.

I'ma gonna curl up with Tina and join her in her nap.

thank you for listening.