the latter would be easier
oh no
oh yes
Rincewind didn't even know they didn't get along 
maybe he can send them both a tray of desserts
with tags saying they're from each other
assumes it's poisoned
gives it to april's raccoons
damn. he half expected that.
lock them in a room until they kiss
i've read it happening in a hundred fanfics so it MUST be based in science
Rincewind might listen to her on this one. But he'll play good cop and let up with a handshake
stuffs hands into mouth
impressive lack of gag reflex
stuffs *dick into mouth
there u go
everything better now
what a stiff olive branch
there could be a book
sifting through fanfic for answers
he has to go deeper
that's definitely one of the fanfic titles
Your weirdly seductive threats will not dissuade my agenda
welp, that's it, Best Line of the Night goes to Chilton
yaaaay
the prize is a cardboard cutout of Sam from when he was poster boy for De Chima Vineyards
which I've just decided is both game canon and a thing selling on MoM's version of ebay
places it next to the portrait that mib gave him
please tell me Raina has that portrait hanging somewhere
i think she had mixed feelings on it, given how vaguely chilton discussed the source/his badly done attempts to hide it
oh chilton
need to get better at lying, you could have given it to her as an engagement gift
march probably has one
he's like "it came with the house wine i ordered"
a nude portrait of Chilton or a cardboard cutout of Sam
"my wife like to stare at it"
oh okay
i was referring to sam but
he is an art freak he would have both
probably in the same room angled at each other
hahahah
it tells a story this way ok
it's an installation now
Sam's is probably like this, in a tan suit
with a quote bubble saying "The Nose Knows"
chilton subtly compares hand sizes
they should put the cutout into the frame over the painting so it looks like photoreal sam is just standing awkwardly at the front of the room
oh cyns idea is good too
who knew Chilton was a hand man?
it's a cutout, it can move. Just change it up every week like the elf on the shelf
yes
and march takes a knife to cut out that white part between his legs
it has to be realistic
dress it up for different holidays
could be the cover art to
pounded in the butt by my psychologically fracturing rival with whom i have a complicated relationship with while he makes abo allusions
maybe this should be a thing that chilton sees when he stays at the castile
has a trip while facing down cut out sam
HAHA
this looks familiar
plastered on acid, finds the sam cut out, yells at it for an hour
march is like
i don't even know if i can use this but i'm gonna watch
ABSINTHE omg not acid
acid now
battery or lsd??
plz be lsd
someone spiked the absinthe
someone invite mib over for this
and man, with a title like that, how could you not read that book
i mean, it's possible
he is def ok with drugs so
it'd be funny too if there's an actual spoopy demon but chilton's 2 distracted with fake fame merlotte
just some terror in the corner like "Excuse me"
"i don't have all day here"
put it in Chilton's room while he's sleeping
wakes up in the middle of the night, should be the demon he's frightened by
but no
Sammy, this is indecent Restrain yourself sammy
>)
definitely time to call SHIFTY BITCH
still in his phone
never changed that out
is Sam the only one in under a nickname
inquiring minds need to know
no, but his is the only foully phrased one
so far
is will just a bunch of question marks
sometimes changed to
turdface
atm will is normally named will graham
but only because raina isn't mad at will anymore
for now
mib was
goth cowboy
now he as a real person name
western gothic i like that one better
I hope Shifty Bitch somehow catches on as a fan nickname for him, some day
western gothic that's perfect
does Rincewind get Ephraim? 
western arial gothic
pining you in your own plurk like a class act here
that can be the of his next company after sweet iron
good
and then western century gothic plz
i want to ask rincewind 10 luggages or no luggages but thats too mean for jorah
wow jorah
really ship pushing there
how many kids you want
kinda early for that????
i do really enjoy the mental image of 10 luggages clogging around off of doorways behind him
if only I could have brought over the Luggage's wife and kids
imagine the chaos
somebody over like
"ah, the pitter patter of little feet"
"ah, the pitter patter of little feet"
everyone would want one
but then it just keeps going and they stare at rincewind,wholly disturbed
how many babies u got up there
He hangs little nametags from their handles to tell them apart
(decorated, of course)
chilton's like
welcome to tacky ikea
keep him away from children
you should do that regardless
what about 1 car sized luggages or 100 duck sized luggages
its alright i came up with something better
........................oh good lord
crisis averted
A good question
would love to be a fly on the wall the first time Chilton's holding a session with an inpatient and smells wine on their breath
cheap wine, even, since Rincewind still drinks like he doesn't have a secret fortune in his bank account
which he tries never to think about, because he knows Preemptive Karma will ruin it somehow
awww, a good pal
that face is deserved
hoo boy
jorah judged from his comfortable bro spoon position in rincewinds bed
somewhere, chilton has a sudden pain in his heart
sometimes after a night of drinking two bros just need to share a bed together
heart pains growing
look, Chilton never invited Rincewind into his bed
because raina would get mad!!
you can't expect him to stay in the guest room forever!!
what if he retitled it the BEST room?
for his BEST friend?
I mean I'm not gonna lie that helps
just be happy for him chilton
no
but
much too petty for that degree of decency
rincewind's disguise when he tries to make chilton and jorah make up
excellent
can he end up birthed naked from it like Ace Ventura