[LoZ:BOTW] actual sitcom/romcom plot: local enigmatic hot cute twink link pursued by multiple suitors; tall and handsome and energetically friendly and supportive zora prince, aggressive and rude yet alluring and intense rito warrior, and............ mildly pua nerdy loser who is kinda cute I guess and is definitely tenacious
WHO WILL WIN HIS HEART??
The answer is food. Food wins his heart.
whomever takes him on the date with the best food
Or probably whoever consistently provides dates with the best food. Gotta keep them eats coming.
revali might be out of the running for being too standoffish/tsun to take link on frequent food dates
sidon would be happy to feed link whenever link would like, but bozai might have it in the bag if only because hed be like 'oh link likes this thing? TIME TO GO OVERBOARD WITH THE THING' and then link gets so much fed and is so happy
What makes it funnier is that Sidon definitely strikes me as the type to not even realize he's in the running in the first place just because he 200% seems the sort to approach romance and friendship in the same way and have no idea the B in bromance has been phased out until pretty much everyone else has known for ages, pffft
sidon, in the middle of making out with his bro: wait a second i dont think this is just a bromance anymore
PROBABLY NOT QUITE THAT BAD, but close, pfffft
tho for his merit he probably gets RLY CLOSE to winning this hypothetical competition just by being infectiously charming and endearing and encouraging
but bozai is, as he put it himself, tenacious as a tick. he finds something that pleases the link and he will INCREASE THE THING
I suppose what it would really come down to would be whether or not Link wondered "Por que no los dos?"
Twice the food and affection-
i mean, you say that like bozai wouldnt also try to be aggressively affectionate if link was down for it.
the real conpetition is whether sidons earnest and clueless affection and encouragement can get him as far as laser targeted purposeful tenacity
the real conpetition is whether sidons earnest and clueless affection and encouragement can get him as far as laser targeted purposeful tenacity
Truth.