negan would be all over sam DEF WANTS THAT DUDE ON HIS SIDE probably would have killed another true blood for super angst/brainbreaking potential

cori is already in american horror story somewhere i'm sure

all about those scruffy men

Rincewind is a highly sought-after keynote speaker/subject at Quantico because three different serial killers tried to kill him but failed, and his escape led to their capture by the fbi.

whatareyoudoinginmyswamp: Cori absolutely hobo'd around March's hotel, probably tried to make "friends" with screwdriver dick or whoever that ghost was

SCREWDRIVER RICHARD THANK YOU

cyanidetimes: HAHA yes I love that. Constantly claims he got lucky and is just assumed to be super humble

five books written about him by acclaimed profilers/psychologists

none by Chilton, sadly, not his genre

will calls on him to substitute a lot

alana like I HAVE PLANS and will like GET MAGICAL SURVIVOR MAN I WANT TO FISH

Rincewind: Son of Fortune

while the popular question is "how did he keep getting away" the more scholarly question is "why did he keep being targeted by serial killers"

Rincewind: the Man Who Lived

there are def people (freddie lounds) who think he was involved

sneakily doing this for Fame instead of Actual Victim

as evidenced by all the times he tries to run away from cameras

Freddie Lounds is like MAYBE HE'S THE SERIAL KILLER AND FRAMED THESE MEN

Freddie Lounds: the Alex Jones of the Hannibalverse

omfg i was JUST THINKING THAT

HAHA

SPOOKY

freddie has a higher rate of sometimes being right tho

alex jones should aspire to be so accurate

Really really unfortunately, John would probably hunt Sam and it wouldn't end well for anyone involved

even the conspiracies are smarter in hannibalverse

Sam is one of Will's dogs, just shapeshifted the entire time

hkmmurph: well to be fair the shapeshifters in John's world are way meaner

SAM IS WINSTON

!!! THAT'S WHY HE WASN'T EATING VERGER BITES

oh shit

WINSTON IS PEOPLE

Sam As Winston giving Hannibal the stinkeye the whole time

also: he smelled at Chilton's crotch that one time

sam winston farts on hannibal

yes

sam winston sneaked into the bathroom to see some naked chilts

so much irrefutable proof

Yeah they're straight up dicks. But if he were a werewolf or something it would just be depressing. Those motherfuckers can't help it.

maybe Sam catches John first and is able to talk to him like "Don't be a dick, I'm an ok guy"

ok but let's see, some reversals

Will in True Blood is basically just happier Will I think. Like good guy who runs the town fishing/hunting sports shop and is a constant regular at Merlotte's

and, like Sam, always gets roped into the supernatural bullshit. Probably has a crazy tragic backstory because, again, True Blood

probably his wife and kid were eaten by vampires or something idk

Tbh if anyone was going to break down John's wall of "kill em all no questions asked" Sam would be a great choice. When he's not angry he's a voice of reason

also likely a werewolf but refuses to join a pack because those are stupid, and Sam toes aside his werewolf racism for him

lbr will is a regular and then goes missing for a season or two, like never shows up, until the town is under some big curse and he's the only one not affected and sam is like "why" and will's like "haha um"

he got the vaccination as a child do you want a worm in this trying time

lmao exactly

March gets to be in Discworld world, he's totally an eccentric noble in Ankh-Morpork who sometimes plays chess with Lord Vetinari, nbd

and is secretly embroiled with the Assassin's Guild

and has a murder mansion which he often throws fancy parties at, and sometimes people just go ~missing~

also lucky him, gets to have a vampire wife because Discworld has vampires

Negan in True Blood is a werewolf for sure, now that I'm thinking about it

one of the biker-gang pack-leader ones

known for being a Giant Asshole with some crazy strict pack rules

but keeps his people safe and even has grudging respect from the vampires

Sam haaaaaaaaaaates him. Negan probably charmed some woman into the sack Sam was cozying up to

rubs dicks with sam too

Chilton I can't decide between TB or Discworld so he gets both

chilton gets tuberculosis on discworld

yay both !

Discworld he's a wizard! Congrats! Also probably not the best wizard, but way better at the charm and smooze game than Rincewind, is probably the Dean

wizard dean

and quietly shady as fuck about the magic he does practice and who he practices it on, but more overtly just known for being a prissy prick with flashy robes

SOUNDS RIGHT

but one who has survived any assissination attempts from other wizards hoping to earn his chair! Which he of course obtained by quietly arranging the assassination of the wizard who had it before him

all i know is yours would be in westeros and we'd be so excited to have them interact w dany in game bc that's the usual theme

his eyes are of course on the prize of being Archchancellor, because boy does he have some ideas for changes around the college.

rincewind can be some variation of british fairy with sweeney

>) i love it

rincewind the pixie

due to a series of unlucky events, while training to be a maester rincewind is wrongfully convicted of a brutal murder where it seems like magic was involved and has to take the black and everyone is afraid of him

i mean. dc is so fucking all over the place there's somewhere he could just be deposited as is and everyone would go "this seems fine"

withpanache: what if satyr. but like a terrible one. I know that's Greek but

hackfraud: I assume he runs away from that too

sold

where does he go does he join the wildlings

he'd be the worst wildling

probably he does run away and then he gets sold into slavery

oh no the wildlings terrify him. Maybe he tries to flee across the ocean and - yes

exactly

thats true tbh rincewind would go everywhere

and meet everyone

fortheloveofgodmontresso...: probably just the most hapless background character ever, who is just always in the wrong place at the wrong time when a supervillain strikes

"why do so many panels have a wizard hat poking out of the background crowds"

Rincewind ends up an enemy of four different Houses and has no idea why

sounds like a contender for team dany

he will gladly hide behind her skirt

runs away and somehow becomes jorah 2.0

but like

a not in love with dany jorah

so a good jorah

sam would be running an inn roundabouts where a war is on finishes fights started by rabblerousing lannister troops because its always lannisters

probably some distant Stark cousin twice removed

that's the next book title

the land all around is scorched earth but his inn is still up

and hes a warg

yes

nobody is brave enough to burn his inn down bc if the try weird shit happens like they get the shit kicked out of them by a plow horse or a bear with white eyes

oh shit I got off track here um - CHILTON IN TB is like a smalltown celebrity because he's a doctor and wrote a book once and got on the local news, and now it's all he ever talks about

normal human who has totally almost died due to supernatural bullshit many many times

sexual tension with sam

but somehow always gets saved or finds a way out, sometimes through shady means

haha yes and he knows all the main cast because he hangs around merlotte's and as a psychiatrist he's constantly trying to pry and give people his card

probably even extended his office hours to accommodate vampires after the Revelation

he's obsessed with pulling an aleister crowley and gets into some dark magic stuff for a couple seasons and then really really needs sam's help getting out of his consequences

8( help him

withpanache: Daenerys in Discworld would be the Queen Foretold of some ancient prophecy destined to return the race of proper dragons (Draco Nobilis) to the Disc, and her very existence freaks out so many leaders' shit that it sparks world war

so not very different from GoT

in True Blood she'd be an ethereal vampire, probably high-ranking - Queen of Virginia, maybe

but who holds strongly to trying to change vampire ways for the better, and advancing vampire rights, and crushing vampires who want to continue being beastly and murderous under her bootheel

also pratchett would have had fun subverting game of thrones tropes probably

oh you know he would have

Sweeney is just Sweeney in TB. Exactly how he is on the show. Exactly. He just ended up in Louisiana and got convinced to stay around for awhile

omg good

and yes

sounds right

hackfraud: Jorah in Discworld is a disgraced sellsword who lives in Ankh-Morpork and spends way too much time drinking down at the Mended Drum

probably often with Rincewind

and he has a sprawling history where he was the knight for a queen in a tale no one would believe if he told them, and he doesn't

correct

he would not

he ends up being convinced to join the City Watch, probably only because he runs out of money

watchman jorah is too credible

this is too real

(and maybe Vetinari ensures the offer's extended to him because that shifty bastard somehow ends up knowing everyone's secrets, and he'd know Jorah's still secretly a man of use and skill)

(Vetinari always has his fingers in everyone's pies ok)

and Jorah maybe grudgingly improves his life and the city's safety and finds his purpose again

i love it

cyanidetimes: somehow I missed your Crowley comment but omg yes I love it and can see it

fortheloveofgodmontresso...: Harley in Discworld, I think we both know, is a jester for a traveling theater troupe that is secretly the cover for a skilled assassin's sect

otherwise she's exactly the same