grats!

It was a dog eat dog race, but he came out ahead of the pack!

cue Sam staring at the TV while his beer gets warm, surprised and suddenly nervous

yas queen! <3

oh you know I can't resist dog puns

let all the puns off the leash

two paws up for De Chima's new ambassador

congrats !!

Cats are now illegal, bacon is required for all breakfasts

guess it's a good thing Baelish had a dog in this race

good job, it was a ruff race

Maybe it was a little ruff, but this win is nothing to sniff at

Just think of all the pawsibilities

all the thanks to hoshizoku for Baelish's political machinations

the real winner here

time for Chilton to set his more troublesome patients to De Chima >)

CONGRATS, SAM

now get to herding those cats

don't u dare, Chilton

trust in the ambassador you've likely seen naked more than once

Is that code for hitmen

gwen voted for him ok

everyone voted for Sam's butt

The odds of us seeing a politician punch out a guy just went up like 150%

HAHA fuck it's true

can a politician secretly take anger management classes

Sam's campaign slogan should have been "dat ass"

its true chilton spoke highly of the booty

while endorsing

gwen

one sec

Okay but the real question is

so who can he hire to make him a flannel and jean suit

Are drinks on the house tonight

I mean yeah that's also why reggie voted

aside from chilton telling him to

This Ass Works For You(tm)

helping

so how IS sam celebrating?

YAY SAM

gwen

oh I'm gonna have to put up a party log For Sure

lmao I'm so glad Chilton has someone to gossip with

yesssss party

come to the party, Persephone

just uh

don't one-up the houseband

Real Talk though who does he hire to keep his naked ass out of the news and talk his fist out of faces, someone plz be his handler

he can have a stack of applications next to the punch bowl

yes she will absolutely come to the party

if its open bar there will be a leprechaun

are you kidding, of course it will be open bar

wonderful

(with the top shelf liquor mysteriously absent because he's still a businessman at heart)

congratulates the wrong perdon, resumes drinking

just keep any bar fights out on the porch

mm no promises

and thus Sam Merlotte gets into a fight with a leprechaun while breaking up someone else's fight with a leprechaun

RIP Ambassador Position, age 22 hours

perfect.

illustrious career

how was he supposed to know ambassadors aren't allowed to pull a gun

this is still america, godammit

sweeneys bad luck is v catching

will turns into a dog to break them up

surely you can't hit a pug

good that's Will's new job

like chicken police breaking up rabbit fights

cut to sweeney holding a pug outside wondering how he got here

congrats Sam, Ronan would have voted for you if he didn't think politics is bullshit

turn into a dog at opportune moments to keep Sam from choking out someone where reporters can see

pana: he understands the sentiment

perfect

This is pleasing

Also, he can hire Maeve as his handler. x)

your dog took first place, Baelish

oho, excellent suggestion

now mitch and baelish can be sam's political daddies

as long as he doesn't have to call them that

publicly

well

maybe not in public

jorah

come to his party, jorah

let's be frands

yeh jorah

drag by arm

mib shows up as police to arrest drunk and disorderly

NO ONE INVITED YOU, MIB

its your special day

hes here to support you

go support a falling boulder, you rapscallion

maybe its time for a congratulations painting

oh

my god

he'd think it's a weird but saucy gift from Maeve

not the Brokeback Phantom

the brokeback phantom

you're welcome for the new superhero name

yes thank you

gonna put Sam in the Swear-In log, whether that happens tonight or tomorrow depends on how much writing my current sleep deprivation allows to happen