[Life Dilemmas] ever since I met my best friend, she's always flirted with me but I made it clear I'm not attracted to women so her flirting kinda became a joke for us... last week she was down and it's gotten really relentless, like she keeps spouting sexual innuendos and stuff in front of my siblings I'm just... dude... no... too far
she's said to my face that she knows I'm straight but she kept having my boobs and butt, even in front of my siblings, even though I shot her upset looks or disgusted ones, it just kept happening no matter how much I reminded her that I'm just not attracted to women
oh and when she went home she sent me fuckboy level messages and it creeped me out so much, like she didn't deny that she sounded like a gross white man... lord it made me so uncomfortable... like we're friends, there's boundaries, sure friends grab each others butts from time to time as a joke, but every five minutes? please stop
I can't have a normal conversation with her now, no matter what I say, it gets turned into something lewd... I talked about how I didn't wanna go out because I don't like getting wet and she was just "I can make you wet 
" and it was so creepy,oh heck
" and it was so creepy,oh heck
I really want to ask her to stop but I can't see a way of doing it without her kicking off because she has aspergers and abandonment issues and I just don't know what to do, she's an awesome friend but this is really going too far
Ewww??
Nah. Her mental issues suck but they don't come before your mental health and comfort. Threaten to block her and stop being friends if she doesn't cut that shit out, and do it if it doesn't work
Like we in Wind Flight Discord recently had to ban a person with depression and PTSD because they kept starting drama, blaming everyone around them and stressing people out
Mental issues can be a reason but not an excuse, and here they don't even seem to be a reason, so don't let them become an excuse
I guess... she just really doesn't seem to understand boundaries, recently she lost a friend because of that aspect of her, she kept making snide comments thinking she was joking about when it was actually hurtful to him, and she didn't understand why he took offence to her comments
I think she noticed I was uncomfortable when she made that joke when I was talking about the rain because she went silent after I replied to it... but yeah, it's really awkward for me when she sends messages like "love you" because she most likely means it so then I gotta dance my way around it 😩
Sounds like she needs help. But that still doesn't mean you should be sacrificing your own comfort for her sake
I know it's tempting because you know how a person like her feels, but you have your own life and problems to deal with
most likely, but she's stubborn on that part, she truly believes that she wasn't saying anything nasty...
thing is, if I choose to unfriend her, it could start drama
She HAS to learn where some boundaries are, and if that has to happen the hard way, so be it
Drama with who?
I babysit for her sister and I really need the money, so I don't wanna risk the fallout... plus I befriended the guy she fell out with so if I fall out with her, she'll most likely give him shit for stealing me away or something :/
I mean you have a valid reason. Not only is she making you stressed and uncomfortable, she's doing this shit in front of your siblings. Aren't they still underage??
Like that's actually kind of fucked up.
Can you talk to her parents about it?
she's gotten really possessive of me, she's been not so subtly trying to discourage me from talking to him because she's paranoid that I'll ditch her completely because I find him more interesting... and at this point, he's definitely better company than she is
my youngest sibling is, yeah
I would but her mum can't do anything, she doesn't listen to her mum... she was starting on her autistic nephew a lot last week and kept ignoring her mum every time she tried to dissuade her
Honestly? I'd try to look for a new babysitting job somewhere else and quit with them if you manage to find one, because this shit is messed up
You don't belong to her or to anyone and she has no right trying to make it otherwise
And if they have money to pay you for babysitting, they should also be able to get her some professional help?
Mental issues do NOT automatically make someone a good person or someone worth hanging out with and she has to understand they don't give her the right to act like a creep
Also, I don't think it will start drama if you unfriend her, it sounds like her mom knows what she's like so she'll understand if you explain it
I can't, I'm not a professional or anything, it all started out as a favour but then her autistic kid got attached to me and has a meltdown if I can't babysit him...
I know, that's what me and the other guy are trying to tell her... but she's adamant that me being friends with him is gonna end our friendship...
I know, that's what me and the other guy are trying to tell her... but she's adamant that me being friends with him is gonna end our friendship...
Like "she was making sexual innuendos in front of my underage sister" is hard to play off as "oh she was just joking"
she flat out said in front of my eleven year old sister that she was trying to get in my pants, it was so fucking embarrassing
And even if you stop being friends with her and continue being friends with him, that's only her fault
Okay that's fucked up and her mother needs to know
Even if she can't do anything, she should then understand why you don't want to be friends with her anymore
Her mental health and comfort does NOT come before yours or your sister and for the latter hearing something like that can actually be kind of traumatic