just reaching for creative energy that is not there

ain't just you

i kind of have to choose between immersing myself in the news vs immersing myself in creative writing, during intense times

yeah, there's definitely this feeling of scattered focus. I've had some good, involved discussions, and listened to some good podcasts, and engaged in demonstration

and switching from that track back to involved recreation is difficult. Probably it just goes back to both taking a certain amount of mental energy and that gets tiring, same as anything else

and there's an emotional exhaustion as well

yeah

yep

It's hard to do anything

But it's also addictive because it's such a train wreck and it's like, what if you look away and it gets worse?

yeah, and I think current events are especially emotionally draining as well? like it's... like we're sponges and there's only so much you can absorb at once

haha god that's a telling and real statement

lmao this is why I couldn't stick with a game after december

it was just one or the other

I turned off cellular data on my phone for news and my browser, and I've started blocking news websites in my browser and locking my phone for long periods at a time

It got to the point where I couldn't focus and just couldn't get started in the morning at lab because I had to catch up

It was making me miserable

I think you have to like. Set a time limit for dealing with it

the creative energy is probably more important than looking at what Fanta Hitler barfed up on twitter now

I've been pretty good about taking little breaks since January since I'm something of a political junkie and I generally follow this shit closely, but I've chosen not to take a break from this in particular right now. (in part recognizing the privilege that I even have taking a break as an option.)

which i guess just means... trying to work through the scattered focus and slog it out, treat it like a writer's block where I bang on a piece of clay for an hour and then spend two trying to edit it into something recognizable

I think that's fair

so yeah tl;dr but goddamn why can't we as a nation catch a goddamn break.

I've paid attention to Charlottesville, because that's...I don't really even have words for it

but I had to just tune out North Korea

there's too goddamn much going on

haha, fuck, yeah, can't even make room for that, nope

willful cognitive denial there

it's just so much easier when that's something so far out of our control

and August is supposed to be the slow news month

ha

we will never have a slow news month again

not even when 2020 rolls around

in news to make you smile: "She lost her diamond ring in the garden. It turned up 13 years later. Mary Grams, 84, of Alberta, lost the ring while weeding her garden."

that's the most fashionable vegetable I've ever seen

Omfg that carrot

for real though