the cashier at Target was chatting me up and led into asking "so what are your plans after you finish your errands? "

and I just said "uhhh I'm gonna go home and sleep"

I know what's going on here but I need at least 3 minutes of quiet reflection to be able to process how I'm actually supposed to react

"what are you doing tonight?" "going home, taking a nap, and then writing gay fanfiction because I'm tired and almost thirty and this is my life"

"sitting at home alone eating these six boxes of halloween monster cereal I just bought for myself"

sorry dude

Mood

same

it doesn't happen to me often but when it does I'm blunt a f, "I'm engaged /flash the ring" and they peace out

sometimes apologizing to my in absentia fiance instead of to me lmao

//boggles at that last part//

in my recent spider related plurk someone posted a video of the caretaker dropping a male into a female enclosire and her first reaction was /THREAT DISPLAY

and i was like me too fam

i cant help b/c apparently anyh time ive been hit on i literallhy dont realize and am just my normal idiot self

my default for years has been "I'm flattered but not interested" because it sounds slightly less like the PANIC that is running through my head