IF I PUT MY LEFT FOOT FORWARD I'D WARBLE ON IT AND THAT IS NOT CONVINCING ANYONE THAT I HAVE ANY GRASP ON MY LIFE!! OR ANY SEMBLANCE OF BALANCE. >:C

I......well, erm. >:C I hung out with papa yesterday. Poppadoppalus. He's...

he's hanging in there. Seeing him like this is really hard. It's like taking the strongest person you've ever known and literally sucking the will to exist out of them. He's lost 90 pounds since my wedding last year.

he sits in his chair and looks completely the same but then gets up and...he's just. he's so small.

and he's perfect and I love him more than anything and >:C it's hard to watch. but I'm here to watch it all, because I'd want my dad to be there for me

and he would be. without question.

I'm trying to keep some time set aside for myself, to unwind and breathe. to take a long bath or lay out on the bed or go on a bike ride, when the weather permits.

Oh, sweetheart...

You've got the warmest heart I've ever seen. I'm sorry the world keeps putting it through so much.

I think it's just about finding that gentle balance. and when i say gentle, what i mean is 'everything is fine and good AND THEN WHAM, YOUR FEELINGS!!!! SHAKING THE SEESAW!!! TOSSING IT INTO ORBIT!!!! and then finding something else to function as a seesaw until your original seesaw comes down from the atmosphere.

EchoDoctor you have an equally warm, if not warmer heart, sweet friend!!

I was so scared going into see him. He worries about me and my brother the most-- because he wants to be that strong father figure that we grew up with. You know? And so it was my first time seeing him in almost a week and a half.

i was so nervous. like. what if i saw him and my emotions just flew off the handle and suddenly I was hysterical? My eyes are telling me that someone I love is changed and hurt and my heart is clinging to what I want to see.

doctors said to not compare it to mom, but...it's about as hard as you might expect.

But dad is here. Breathing and alive and still as full of love as he ever has been.

the day before mom passed away, I told myself that I'd put off visiting for another week-- just because I was tired and when your heart pounds, do you see it in your hair? H-haha...

...w-well, regardless, I put it off, and lost my chance to see her alive again. And so I just. god. I can't do that with dad.

hurgles. I'm okay.

didn't come to this plurk to get weepy, I came to put my foot down and ask life a simple question >:C

I CAN'T EVEN ASK THE QUESTION GOD I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST INVITING A BAD TIME

please just. send help.

life, i would rly appreciate it if you'd just calm down and let me live. and have this good time to myself to just. exist.

AND ALSO IF THERE COULD BE MORE PUPPIES I AM SURE THAT WOULD HELP >:C

ALSO I LIKE ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM AND THE SOUND OF RAIN AND ANIMAL CROSSING AND POKEMON SO MORE OF THAT WOULD BE GOOD TOO >:C

>:C more pokemon will come ina month, fam

also ilu. >8C

LOOK AT THIS EMOTE

OH.........OH NO......

LOOK AT THAT LITTLE BOUNCING BEAN....... ;A; WEEP

YES ;A;

I can't wait for this dumb game it looks so cute :C