dad was admitted to the er yesterday. hospice nurse said dehydration byr paramedics say its early symptoms of sepsis.

he was taken to the same hospital that mom died in. I passed the room where we sat as a broken family and learned that she didnt make it.

I sat outside for an hour and cried on a bench. we're meeting with dad's attorneys to figure out the details of his estate. he cant handle the chemo. the cancer is moving into his kidneys slowly.

Oh God. I'm so sorry.

God, Squish. I don't know what to say. There are no words. I'm so, so sorry this is happening to you.

oh fuck squish ;; this is the shittiest and just. fuck.

hes not really responsive and hes just..yellow skin and so thin and

I want him to be able to hold a grandchild and cry. take Gracie on walks. remember how to do the things that brought him joy

I wish I could give you that. I would if I could.

they want to talk to us about options as far as what we can do for him. to make him comfortable in the case that they cant do anything for him.

Oh honey. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. No one does.

Oh sweet heart I am so, so sorry

I love you

I love you guys, too. It'll be okay.

Oh my god, Squish....I am so sorry. You do not deserve this, nor does your family. You're all wonderful, sweet people, and I wish there was more I could do.

I love you, fam, and I'll keep you and your dad in my prayers.