Yesterday was!!! Good...in a way. It was lightyears better than mom's memorial but twice as hard.

people coming up like LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR DAD and pictures of the family floating around on TV and just. like.

it was at the Cowboy's stadium, in a VIP lounge, and it was impressive and classy and what he would have wanted.

and they let us roam around on the astroturf of the field and tour the locker rooms

i got to be alone for ten minutes and that was really nice

my brother was actively hiding from peope because holy bamboozles he did not want to be there and...I didn't really, either? But...idk.

he and i both have really curl hair and look like a carbon dang copy of our parents so...we stood out.

LOOK A PICTURE!!!!

this was pre-Emotionalbreakdown.gif

which...happened, of course. but it was so striking that it happened and I had no control over it.

when you're so used to getting teary eyed but keeping the hysteria down, and then you suddenly can't control that anymore it's....weird.

but thankfully, I had Bun and Jess (girl in picture wearing pink!) and some of my other sweet friends keeping their eyeballs on me.

always.

someone made me a little teary eyed and there were like...8 people who SUDDENLY APPEARED READY TO BAIL ME OUT AND SHELTER ME TO A CORNER

;w; yes good

it was impressive and...appreciated, beyond belief.

this all sounds like a hell of a day but. a good kind of cathartic kind at least??

yeah.

and good htat people had your back or i'd have to have words

and rescue you

^^^

I'm glad people were SO READY to come rescue you fam

i started hurting at the end of the day really bad, and worried I wouldn't be able to sleep but BOY I WAS SO TIRED

they were like "Sydney, you don't have to be so polite toward these people you don't know! You can just run off and I think they would understand."

BuT i JuSt CaN't

I must have talked with at least 120 people yesterday, thanking them for coming, listening to them talk about my dad

but overall...it was good. a good.

i also went back tO WORK TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN

SIX WEEKS

it was an experience and i feel so tired and holy shit my manager was supremely salty about not being invited to the event yesterday like p l e a s e

..................how do you get salty about not being invited to a memorial

like how petty can a butt be

"How was it yesterday?"
"Bad"
" "
"Yeah, well was it good at all?"
"It was, uh, yes? It happened and...it's done?"

"Well, we wanted to come and support you but we just couldn't because you never gave us the information and we just wanted to support you"

ffffffuck off???

For fuck's sake, what is wrong with that ass?

"R-rich, it was....it wasn't a big deal. It was to me, but it was also not my place to invite every human on the block???"

it was something paid by my aunt and uncle and

they said I could invite everyone who I wanted to come that knew mom or dad and I INVITED MY CLOSE FRIENDS

I JUST DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE MOURNING THAT CLOSE TO MY MANAGER???

like I'm sorry you were dealing with a big huge emotional roller coaster ride and thinking to invite everyone and their mother's dog wasn't on the agenda

i'm sorry you couldn't come but it was just haksjdkefk

but...regardless, today was good. we have more people on the counter now.

i'mma punch them

THE KOREAN MARKETPLACE IS 5 MINUTES AWAY AND HAS FOOD THAT IS FRESH AND GOOD AND GOOD FOR YOU AND >8C I'M SO SALTY THAT I NEVER WENT TO THIS MAGICAL PLACE LIKE WHAT THE FRESH HECKIN DECKIN

MMMMM KOREAN FOODS

i had charred mackerel with rice and an egg and an ASSORTMENT OF SOFT AND GOOD KOREAN SIDES

BEAN SPROUTS AND FISH...THINGS AND RED BEANS AND

yes. lunch. all the time. every day. IT WAS THE SAME AMOUNT I WAS PAYING FOR FOR A BURGER AT JACK IN THE BOX LIKE >:C FIGHT ME WORLD I AM GOING TO CONTINUE LOSING WEIGHT

OH MY GOD THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD >8C pls post food pics so I can die and eat my phone

same

i will take pictures tomorrow >:C

heck ye >8Cb

>8Cbbbb

opens mouf

I'll eat there tomorrow so I'll just >8Cb get it on the actual stray and it looks so magical ;A;

;A;