that was...frightening. like. my throat was closing up and I was only...exhale coughing.

like that horrible feeling when you just cough but the cough goes on too long and your face gets hot

i just used my inhaler three hours ago...

supposed to use it once every six hours or as needed.

eurghhh.

i don't even know if that was an asthma attck. M-MAYBE IT WASN'T AND THE INTERNET IS LYING TO ME BUT

I-IDK I'M PROBABLY BLOWING IT OUT OF PROPORTION >:C but...that was so scary.

i just want to nap but if I go to bed before 9 i will be up at 4am.

and hurting. and not wanting to get out of bed.

and I have work tomorrow...but I'll probably call my PCP and see what I can do. like. if i'm doing anything wrong. medications...or life choices...OR WHATEVER

Oh, sweetheart. No, you're not at all blowing things out of proportion. That sounds terrible.

bun and i joke about what a mess i am all the time but...

i'm seriously a really physically delicate mess right now.

it's awkward and annoying and...going out is really hard. by myself is fine, butt with friends...eating out is pretty normal.

i hate limiting, and i hate being the person who has to beg you to not sprinkle lemon juice on the salmon, man. then surround me with people who are genuinely good and nice and wouldn't judge me at all and i love them very much

and i can't be out past a certain time, and i can't go to certain places. i can't do certain things yet.

idk. i feel like i'm hindering people and that's the worst feeling. i keep telling my friends to just hang out without me, and I'll join another time, but they're insistent and i adore them BUT THEY'RE INSISTENT

babes

they're insistent cause they love and miss you and i'm sure if you tell them why you can't or what you can do or what you need to go out

then they can and will accommodate you

i do- and they know and...i just. idk. i don't want anyone to feel like they have to accommodate me. i'm happy to be with them-- but their plans can't start earlier than 7 and i have medicine to take at 9pm every night...and i just want them to be happy and stuff. because they do have fun with each other!!

is it medicine that you have to take at home? is it an involved process O:

it's medicine that makes me drowsy.

ooooooh i gotcha

yeah. but. gee i just love 'em.

idk. it's complicated and silly and...i'm just tired. and emotional.

it's still so sweet that they still invite you and reach out ;w; probably because they know you can't but they don't want it to be

"oh hey squish here's the dozen things we didn't even mention to you until now after the fact"

it'll hopefully get better at some point babechik

This is just a bit of advice on my part from experience. Feel free to disregard it.

But I suggest checking your pulse next time you have an asthma attack. I mistook a panic attack for an asthma attack once, and that was not a fun trip to the hospital

So if my heartrate is fast, I probably won't touch an inhaler.

But yes, I do hope you feel better soon.

nono, that's good advice!! I'll try and remember that. thank you!!

<3