dangers of dating satan tbh

gOD

Jane can't handle this.

i can't wait for all this to come up with jane instead of chloe just sounding like she's not totally embroiled in all of it LOL

xD

you'll like him when you meet him jane he's very sweet

SHE'S ACTUALLY SPOKEN TO HIM

But!!! She didn't know about Crowley and 'Zira then and didn't even think to question that very interesting name

oh god how embarrassing was he

because he's actually awful

Actually not that bad.

chloe is so sorry

HAHA

it took me a moment to see the game emote and I was real concerned for a minute

LMFAO YIKES SHANA

what kind of taste do you think i have

oh chloe.

IDK THAT'S WHY I WAS CONCERNED

tbf my taste is pretty akin to chloe's

narcissists love me

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S ENCOURAGING

it's not :c

awwww

only two people, Chloe, it's not that bad

and honesty they both deserved it

but like he wants her to know this, because they said no secrets and it's stuff she should know but he also doesn't want to say the words because he still hates what he did, and himself for doing it, and he's so afraid that this will be the thing that drives her away. because she keeps saying he's not a monster but he is and

this could be the thing that proves it

and once she knows it's true, she'll leave

nooooooo

tbf he did... kill her ex fiance and she got over it. she didn't even know uriel lol

granted pierce was a psychopath who murdered her friend and then almost her but uriel doesn't sound like a winner either

he still hates himself a bit

and is afraid to be vulnerable because he's afraid of being hurt again

cries

being abandoned by your family isn't fun

he has a chloe now

and she won't abandon him. even if she definitely should

also Uriel was kind of a smug bastard

/watches things on youtube

lol i definitely rewatched some of that episode before i wrote that tag to you

mainly the part where she says she was going to have sex with him and he is super flustered lol

I wanted the exact phrasing that used about Maze

also because if he's going to talk about what happened, I need to remember what happened

ahaha that is fair

i definitely do mini canon reviews when i need to write about something specific

or i want to call back to a line somewhere and make sure i get it right

that's what YouTube is for

this tag is so hard to write because it hurts, Chloe, it hurts

i have them all downloaded like the criminal i am

gasp

i know i should be so ashamed

but i can't make music videos if i don't download them sobs so i also just try to obsessively watch on netflix and back when it was on hulu to make up for it lol

sounds fair

i also need to like... make another music video. i made one after it got cancelled and had all these grand plans for a follow up and none of them have come to fruition yet

make them. there should be more lucifer videos out in the world.

Also coughs

there definitely should

i was going to talk about music videos but UH THIS IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT

AHHHHH

YESSSSSSSSSSS

CHLOE IS GOING TO BE SO HAPPY

another person for Lucifer to annoy!

I mean wait

ugh she's going to hug him, isn't she

ofc

MoM needs ella hugs

like big time

chloe needs ella hugs

and she might even admit it

so does Lucifer, but he'd never admit it

omg poor ella is going to drop into some serious insanity, poor thing

what's her canon point?

yesss when are you thinking of taking her from?

the end of season 4 i think.

that's everyone's canon point then

sweet we will all be on the same page then

not that... it will help ella a lot lmfao

not really

this tag

nopes into eternity

welcome to his Hell loop

that tag made me wanna die

at some point after the intensity of this thread fades a bit, a cat will adopt Lucifer and he won't know what to do about it

because there will need to be something lighter again

jfajfdkl

that's perfect

adopted by kids, adopted by cats...

all the things he hates

though i do love that one episode where he's talking about how awful cats are and then later on he's definitely watching a cat video on his cell phone

like we all know what you're about lucifer

hypocrisy?

i mean more being really fuzzy at his heart even when he pretends not to be but

also hypocrisy

he's secretly a softy

shhhhh don't tell anyone

and the cat's probably a beast who likes no one but him and maybe Chloe

she knows when he looks at her with that face he gets whenever she hurts his feelings

it is totally allowed for the cat to hate chloe that would be hilarious tbh

he's just trying to have a girlfriend and the cat has other ideas

if he has to choose the cat or Chloe he will choose Chloe

what a surprise that he has feelings

b'awwwe

she won't make him choose

she ain't about that

they may just have to shut the cat out of the bedroom sometimes

oh yeah, that she will demand

the poor woman is finally getting some decent action, no cat can stand in the way of that

he finally got her to sleep with him. there will be no feline cockblocking

we probably need to decide when that happened in the game timeline, if it's even happened yet

we probably do, yes

it's basically up to Chloe

they also were going to have a stay-in-and-have-dinner date

i feel like chloe is definitely still in slow mode

like, not in a bad way, but more enjoying dating him before much else

plus she moved REALLY fast with marcus so she's probably a little gun-shy

OH AND the cat's name should be Beelzebub because it's clearly a hellbeast

he'll just have to keep practicing being patient

omg one of my best friends had a cat named beelzebub and that cat was a terror

chloe and lucifer had a dog named cerberus at eway lol

I think someone on my timeline has a cat named Beelzebub. no idea if it's a terror though

another good name for Lucifer's pet

even better if Chloe names it because Lucifer wouldn't think to (he's not keeping it, it doesn't need a name)

ahahaha it's her idea to keep it and name it and then it hates her

i love it

it may warm up to her

eventually

in the meantime he can talk to it about things

like being patient

lmfao he does need a friend now that he is... dating his only friend

maybe the cat will understand how hard patience is sometimes

cats are amazing at patience when they don't actually want something. and then they do and it's like GIVE IT TO ME NOW

so basically lucifer

so mean

he loves you too, Chloe

it is so hard for him to be patient when it comes to sex. but he'll figure it out

we know you're friends with your hand, lucifer. use it.

it's not the same

he's waited this long he'll live

at least it won't be two years this time?

maybe like... two months lol

fiiiiiiiiiiine he'll just deal with it

does he still have the kryptonite in his pocket? and if so can she find it and wtf about it?

yes and yes

sweeet

it's not gonna happen in this tag but the next

okay

you'll appreciate this one tho

/waits

/reads

oh I see

ahahaha

told you she'd do it

you did

he's just like 'isn't that what you call other people'

that's not his name

and also

there

and now it's time for so anything else will come tomorrow

i fell asleep so this was a precious thing to wake up to

also did he just get cockblocked by a rock?

because that's a record even for him

YEP HE SURE DID

that's the last time he picks one of those up

well i mean it should be and not because it means he doesn't get sex

he'll just have to talk her into it some other time

he'll get there don't worry

he has never been this patient before in his life

he's so good

he's doing his best

does Chloe want to go to this month's swear-in?

she's down. idk if i'll do a top level with her because i really need to do an open post where she isn't at the swear in but i'll definitely tag into anything you want to do

probably won't be today, but I'll get something done

awesome

I may only manage these two tags today

that's allowed

maybe not the greatest quality, either

ahaha it's ok there is always tomorrow

I guess you and a different Lucifer are the benefactors of tags today

i am blessed

you should be

we should do that thread too

wait wrong plurk

is Chloe going to start hallucinating now that she's touching the rock?

idek i kind of figured i would just like. write around that so we don't get too far off track

pretend her power nullified it or something idk

that could be it