i don't know why i even attempt online dating it's such a trainwreck

um

ABORT! ABORT!

yeah idek

...

m.... my dude

chill

my online dating adventures may be weird and frustrating but at least I don't have to deal with men

Zully: so freaking true

i'm considering just not dating men anymore because they are mostly useless

I have heard this often from my bi/pan friends

i can greatly recommend choosing not to date dudes if possible

though i do have a tentative second date with a tinder guy i met last week and he's.... fine? but he's never watched star trek. by choice

absolutely 5 stars

my best friend is straight and I always give her my condolances

and then we talk about my lesbian privilege

LOL it's such a privilege

the curse of the bisexual is i actually find women more attractive but i rarely have luck actually dating one

they always end up just disappearing from conversation or they are the real winners who see "bisexual" and have a meltdown

i mean there are more men interested in women in the world than there are women interested in women, so

god I have never understood that

every single woman I've dated has been bi/pan and like, how flattering is that??

yep sadly statistics are not in our favor

"You literally have every single option regardless of gender, so that is a HUGE dating pool, and you like me "

at least this dude warned you outright he was a creeper

but yeah thats one of the challenges of dating exclusively women. my pool is significantly smaller. and since I live in LA and apparently everyone is non monogamous here, being monogamous is a secondary curse

i kind of had that issue in albuquerque. HUGE poly community out there. tried it and it's not for me.

superion: that is a small mercy lol

and right i totally agree re: dating bi/pan peeps. like, i can never get over the one girl who i totally hit it off with, she was super into doctor who and a nerd and we had a date set up and everything and she messages me the day of and says, "i didn't notice it said bisexual in your profile and sorry, i don't date bisexuals, they are too much drama"

and i was thinking like, gonna go out on a limb here but it sounds like the connecting factor in all of your drama is you

lksdjf yeahhhhhh

whew

"But they'll cheat on you!" if someone cheats on you they're a trash human regardless of orientation

im not even sure how to begin to unpack that, wow

I mean I sympathize, it'd be great if we could go "If I just don't date x people I won't be cheated on," but that aint how this works

I have had serious relationships with 5 bi/pan women. One cheated on me. That's because she's a bitch, not because she's bi.

^ this

also I mean like

I'm a monogamous lesbian. My dating pool is already basically a thimble. Can you IMAGINE how tiny it'd be if I only dated other lesbians?? pls

lmfao so true

and straight guys are just as bad, if i had a nickle for every time i had to hear "well, who do you imagine yourself with, a man or a woman" i would be rich enough to move to an island, adopt a hundred dogs, and never have to be asked dimwitted questions ever again

uuugh

I get gross messages from guys and I explicitly state that I'm only interested in women. I can't imagine how big that garbage heap must be if you actually make yourself actively available to men

"so when do you think you'll choose"

"clearly not today, and clearly not you"

question i absolutely got asked by, wait for it, a manager at work once

jfc

i had an exbf tell me once that once i slept with him, i'd never be interested in women ever again

(twist ending, i never slept with him )

HJFKAG he sure played himself

its not a contest but yea try also being trans/ace in that mix and just throws hands up in air

and then i had a real stalkery ex who really fixated on the whole if i wanted to be with a man or a woman thing and i finally just had to tell him to shut the fuck up

i can't even imagine that level of stress tbh

thankfully i have been pretty lucky

rofl I'm demi so I feel u ace friend

as if I needed to narrow my dating pool further

other than the one... dude... who broke into my house

just further proof that cis dudes are no good, man

yeah I cant imagine why y'all are considering dumping cis dudes entirely

what with these fine examples

honestly i'm starting to wonder if i am like, getting demi the older i get? because, being real here, i was not very decerning in my younger years but now the idea of dating someone i don't know makes me want to throw myself off a bridge

its very confusing how the human race propagates itself at all

but idk if that is me identifying as demi or me just being done with the human race in general

and WOW yikes

Right, or if like, society has just skewed your perception of what a relationship should be like

?? me vs sexuality ??

??? ? ??

like i knew men weren't sending us their best but i also feel like they are TRYING to send their worst now

don't ask me questions i don't have answers for anyone

jdklfg right

where are you keeping the good ones

surely there must be at least one

tbh I'm more interested in cuddling and making out and raising a kid with sex happening occasionally if we're both into it, but def not as much of a priority

ahaha i have spent many, many years trying to figure out my issues around sex vs relationships and i've given up tbh i just want to adopt a hundred dogs and move to an island

there is ONE good man

ill come

I was kind of a ho in my 20s and slept around a fair bit so idk if it's that being "out of my system" or just...... me changing in my 30s

one

that's my ideal

i know him personally

100 dogs and very little people

and he is totally dedicated to my roommate :|

no touching necessary

in fact, not touching preferred

asldkfj he does seem pretty neat from the convos I've had with him

if every man was like him the world would be a paradise tbh

and hard same zully, like... my 20s involved a lot of sleeping around. but not many relationships. which i think is why i'm very confused about how to relate the two as someone who would now like to settle down

like don't get me wrong sex is a+. but like, human connection and knowing you can rely on someone seems like it's a really important factor to me now??? and it wasn't before

I feel like I'm not going to say I won't date men, but I am 100% decided that I'm not open to men re: online dating

I don't want to deal with this bullshit

if I decided to do online dating, I'm just going to say I'm looking for women and leave it at that.

it's a terrible idea, don't do it

i don't know why i torture myself this way

I gave up online dating men a few years ago. After the continuous “oh you’re bi? Wanna have a threesome then?”

No. No I do not

even if i did, not with you

Never with them

ugghhhhhh unicorn hunters are the worst

I dated one guy who was cool with the bi thing, just accepted it and moved on. He was terrible about other things though. Smh

and like full disclosure, i was a unicorn for a while. but like, don't go looking and objectifying me like that you gross couples

So gross

I’m also demi and I just feel like everyone I date is looking to jump into bed and I just want a meaningful emotional connection and to settle down.

and i only ever was in poly relationships anyway

not randos on dating sites

And I have a few friends who met people online and married them and where are all these dudes cuz I’m not finding them lol

right though???

I just maintain they are all taken at this point

We’re just left with the scraps

i've dated a few rp partners in the past and some were great but most it just turned into them wanting to date my character. or just them secretly being assholes.

a w k

i mean, that worked out fine for me,

I had an rp partner years ago that actively thought she was dating my character. Thankfully I was not interested in her so I was like backs away slowly

but, there were definitely several times where it didn't,

oh for sure i know people who it worked out amazingly with

i just make terrible choices and i trust too easily

whispers sometimes awkward nerds are unsurprisingly bad at relationships and boundaries,

unfortunate.

i mean look at the characters i play, there is a reason lmfao

i definitely very briefly dated someone who thought threading with other people was cheating and if i wasn't actively tagging them i hated them

that was a ride i didn't enjoy

I dated an rp partner for over a year before she out of the blue told me she wasn’t bi, she was straight. And I was like O.O

Pretty sure it wasnt very straight when we slept together a bunch but....

okay that is overboard on both counts, why are people like this

i nearly dated a girl who thought she was in love with me definitely because our characters were in love. and she was mad i wanted to take it slow because she was like you know, straight

oh........... boy

right like, listen, i get it, we were all once teens who overidentified with rp, and there are usually real feelings involved! esp if you end up becoming good friends! BUT YIKES.

pls consider being a well adjusted adult, and if you are not, not involving me in it,

this tho

So this

i had another rp-turned-lover who definitely was just using me to convince her boyfriend that they should have an open relationship so that was... an experience

...

head in hands

Wow

right unfortunately, while men are bad, pretty much most other humans are also bad, at dating,

having been one of those, previously, it's just not a good percentage of people, and i'm sorry

yeeep

it turns out humans in general are shit at interacting

My coworker is constantly on and off with her bf and she’s always like I should just date women. And I laugh and tell her they aren’t any easier lol

i can say for certain i have never continued to bother a stranger who didn't respond to me for unsolicited touching tho

like. i've got that going for me.

girls are definitely no easier, that's always what i say to my straight friends when they are like, i wish i was attracted to women

they are as bad as men just in different ways

there's two good men probably I like mine

that being said I found and aggressively pursued his ass in college which seems to be a trend with the superior men I know. online dating brings out the crazies

see: the dude who was bumbling my friend then our of the blue was like I can't talk to you anymore

I can't deal with women with facial deformities. she has a port wine stain maybe the size of a half dime. :| and they were having a good time talking otherwise. like fuckface. why.

I dated an RP partner but had a relatively strict no ships rule with that person because I didn't want feelings crossover.

I also caught my very excellent dude in college

if I were not married to him I'm pretty sure I'd give up on dudes forever

I'm sorry you're having such terrible luck

fyrefly: that's true you also ended up with a good one, gives me hope for the future!

also WTF i mean you..... saw a picture of her before you even started to talk to her so you like.... already knew what she looked like? also just WTF i mean who even thinks like that.

the_inkdancer we have 3 dudes! i wish i'd found a decent one in college because i'm pretty sure i'm about to give up, all the ones i met in college were just as bad

but also thank you :3 i just need to learn that online dating is probably not for me. concentrate on work and getting into school and meeting people in person