Finding formal social groups was a really demoralizing bust, I’m not comfortable with the few people on okcupid who’ve tried a conversation, and even when i had rp as a hobby that didn’t really help me make the sorts of relationships where I could just chat/do things with people. Is there something I’m missing or is this just it?

I usually make friends through friends, or befriend coworkers

sometimes joining a club or a going to regular activity meetings (library or community events, for example) can be a good way to meet peoplr

comic shops also tend to have game or DND nights, which you can join or just spectate in

I guess not (apparently) liking most people and being in a rural area where no groups meet is a killer combo

if it's any consolation, I don't live in a rural area and almost all of my friends are online anyway

it's just hard to find people you click with outside the internet, I think

Or inside it. I’m beginning to think it’s harder online. At least in person even if you don’t have anything to contribute you can just sit there and be with the other person/people. Online you can’t do that

oof, that's fair. group chats can sometimes mitigate that, but it's easy to feel like you're being left out if you're not actively participating

Yeah I just end up feeling terrible on the rare occasion I’m in those

unfortunately i haven't found a way beyond repeatedly putting myself out there it doesn't work that well but superficial social interaction is better than nothing for me

does fandom count as a hobby? there are communities on the more busy social media platforms that seem easier to break into at least but you'd likely have to take socialisation with a heap of salt over there, it can be quite high-energy

That does feel less unlikely, but I’m not sure how without either creating things myself or feeling like I’m brown nosing people who do , idk. You’re right that less personal socialization is better than nothing though, that’s what rp gave me back when I was in dreamwidth games

ah, yeah. if it doesn't sound like it'll work out, your gut feel is valid
but also you don't have a time limit on this, maybe an RL meetup group in your area will spring up in the future? or you'll find more openings to potentially make friends. it's not your fault that you lack openings right now, adulthood just sucks

i'm not really qualified to say that as a baby in my early 20s, but hey. i found my way onto dwrp very late compared to many people on here, another community might be out there somewhere for you

We’ll see