like, I am aware of the nineteenth-early twentieth century tradition of naming babies after presidents

but usually they were either good/famous presidents: jefferson, washington, jackson, &c

or the president at the time the child was born

i mean...he could have been james polk barnes

so it could be worse

polk was a better president than buchanan

james van buren barnes

like, grover clevleand alexander, woody strode

i mean, a slightly rotten tomato would have been a better president, but "buchanan" works better than "polk" in the name

I really have always wanted to have a character yell at him that james buchanan was a terrible president

but I've never had the chance

the totally heterosexual bachelor president

also he could have been

chester arthur barnes

even though grover cleveland was a forgettable president old pete alexander was born in 1887, so it makes sense

madison is the obvious james

tbh he could've been woodrow wilson barnes

james madison barnes

the real reason for james buchanan is because he was bucky barnes before they retroactively gave him the james buchanan name decades later

as my favorite presidential book put it: "james buchanan had the build of a fighter and the spirit of a bed wetter"

but then he'd be maddie, which is a common girls name now, and he'd have an even harder time adjusting

a great namesake

flawless

it would have been cool if our most gay president were not also terrible

that's an opening for a mayor pete joke right there

I like to believe, in my heart, that like... his mother's maiden name was Buchanan so it's all just a ridiculous coincidence. Because who would name a child after James Buchanan.

I couldn't think of one bc he would also be bad

anyway, they further retroactively established that bucky's dad was also james buchanan barnes

so, no, wrong, that doesn't work

gonna hold fundraisers in his wine cave

i mean it does make more sense, but then, ??? there's no way bucky's dad was born in the 1850s

the only time period it would ever make sense to name your kid after james buchanan

maybe he could hear through walls too

it's probably a family name from someone who was born in the 1850s

marvel could have avoided this if they just went with the early aughts idea that his name was michael

and everyone just called him bucky, because it was the 1940s, i guess

that's what you call chipper twinks

it's just really funny that a captain america has the name of a terrible president

another strange saga is the steven "grant" rogers saga

a captain america also has the name of uncle sam LOOK I'M JUST SAYING

where grant is not his middle name

but he was brainwashed once to make him think it was his middle name

the............grant thing.............

does sam have niblings tho

but then the mcu made his middle name grant, further confusing everyone

someone should give him some

I think he might in comics but I'm not totally sure

in conclusion: if bucky were going to have a presidential name that made sense, it would be calvin coolidge barnes

OH RIGHT comicsbucky

comics bucky has a sister named becky because of course he does

(I was like "what why not wilson")

(and then I remembered that 616 is younger)

becky barnes is also lesbian!girl!bucky

in the peggycapverse

IT SEEMS LIKE early presidents were popular, there are a lot more midcentury george washingtons than calvin coolidges

jackie roosevelt robinson was born in 1919 a month after teddy died so i guess there are more options, but jeez

yes, as i said, the tradition is either

— famous heroic presidents, with the idea that giving a child a great name will give them a great future

this also goes back to the revolutionary days, as a way of stressing the virtues of the american identity (and proving such a thing existed)

...can you imagine babies named donald trump lastname

god there probably are some bc his followers are batshit

RIGHT

— presidents at the time the babies were born (usually around election year)

the flipside of that is cats named purrack obama or hillary kitten

or immediately after… wouldn't be surprised to learn of a babies named john kennedy born in the months after the assassination

oh my god I want to name a cat purrack obama now

I think there were a fair amount of john kennedy babies, or least multiple scifi authors really wanted us to believe so

the one good thing about "james buchanan barnes" as a name is that famous assassins always have three names like that, so

oh someone should tell him it's a serial killer name

I hope it comes up in the falcom/winter soldier show

poor czolgosz, doomed to languish in obscurity

aka 'too many caps'

man i've never cared to comb through and pin down the first appearance of the "james buchanan barnes" name

was it the 90s? was it edgy 90s foreshadowing?

no it was at least around c. the first ohotmu book of the dead

maybe it was invaders?

that would explain a lot, tbh.

invaders, here to ruin everything

it's hard to imagine bucky with a normal name

more like, "invaders, here to retcon things in a very specific way"

his name is bucky

it has to be short for something embarrassing

like, buckingham could work

buckingham b. barnes

invaders was the comic where, in order to explain a previous avengers comic where a time-travelling namor was wearing a historically inaccurate swimsuit

roy thomas devised a whole plotline to explain the inaccurate swimsuit by having a supervillain kidnap namor and replace his fishpanties

ah yes namor, famous for knowing and caring about terrestrial fashions

p sure the answer to why is namor wearing that is always just it's namor

he wears what he wants

the problem was in this avengers issue namor was wearing his 1941 costume instead of his 1943 costume, which, btw, were both panties

welp

which is to say: invaders was very good at explaining things so that they were more confusing

at NO POINT does Invaders ever explain why everyone has 70s hairstyles even though it takes place in the 40s

they said, I think, that they wanted to do research on namor's fishpanties

which were obviously USED

but then later he uses them as the flag of his ship??

namor's used fishpanties

this is still canon

somewhere out there that fits someone's very specific kink

roy thomas's kink was continuity

god we really did have the worst presidents just before and after the civil war huh

when you think about it, does lincoln get so much credit because when you're preceded by buchanan and followed by johnson there's very little you have to do to be the best president of your era

I mean he won the civil war,

he also did pick johnson for vp as if have a border state democrat vice president was really going to accomplish anything in 1864

it sure accomplished plenty after he died, but none of it was good

grant is underrated

tru

corbieclook: so I have a friend who has a cat named Barack Opawma, Purresident

But also and more on topic for this plurk for several generations my family was So Very Fucking New England that the eldest son - in fact up to my father's grandfather - was always named Benjamin Franklin [surname]

Dad got to dodge that bullet thankfully

yikes

though ben franklin rejected new england, so how new england could he be??