so yesterday I was riding the Anxiety boat, which is a boat that has holes in it and barely floats u no what I mean

and I played a hat in time and things are good and solid and!! I'm just spending the last half of the night doing something harmless

which for me...is tiktoks, because they remind me very much of vine and I miss that good stuff

and I scrolled across this one tiktok of a woman who lovingly was reminding people to eat a fruit every day.

and I was like "wow...that was really sweet!!" and I looked at another one of her videos and she was just

like THE PICTURE OF MOTHERLY LOVE. my mom loved me, of course, and I wasnt trying to compare them

but god....it was one of those extremely surreal moments where I felt like she was talking to me

and I realized that I haven't had a mother in almost 3 years. and I was a massive wreck

I DECIDED TO TREAT MYSELF BEFORE TIKTOKS ABD GIVE MYSELF ONE OF THOSE UNDEREYE MASKS BECAUSE WHY NOT >8C AND

I HAD TO DO IT A SECOND TIME BECAUSE I RUINED THE FIRST ONE WITH CRYING

man. bun came in and saw I was crying and was standing there with a hand in a bag of chips like

he had no idea why I was upset. he could hear the video looping of the tiktok and was just....does not compute mode

he laid next to me and stared at me with big eyes like

HE WANTED TO HELP BUT DID NOT KNOW HOW

AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN WITHOUT HEAVING HECKING SOBS

I mean...I'm okay. grieving like that hasn't come around in several weeks so >:C I was just bottled up, I think...

oh bee....

though. i am laughing at the image of bun with special dog eyes

I asked bun to bring me a tissue and he brought me two tissue boxes with same unsure expression

BLESS HIM HE TRIES SO HARD.....I love him so much.

I texted my boss and was like "hey, can I just work my afternoon shift tomorrow because I'm experiencing an Emotion" and he was like "oh, dude, ofc, u gucci"

so now I'm going to...........go take a shower and wash my hair >:C and then......chill.

/HUGS

;w; I'm good!! BUT TY FAM UR SWEET AND ILY >:C

:C smooches gently

I love you precious squish but I am also laughing at special dog bun that made me chuckle. >:C he is a good and awkward bun

HE.....is hilariously awkward sometimes, man. he tries so hard

he came from a family that isnt super emotional. his dad is a "suck it up and get it done" kind of guy

and I love his dad so much. they're amazing people.

but good bun is just....he tries so hard....

He does and I appreciate him and u. >:C u both try hard and are good good beans

Also that emote is rly cute hecc >8C

You're so good and I love and appreciate you.

I mean at least he is Trying

that automatically makes him a good <3