this is a tabletop story, not a dwrp story, and it involves people nobody knows, aka my irl family

I have told part of this story on plurk before but anyway

my dad is the hardest person to shop for, because he is much richer than I am and just buys himself all the very specific tech toys that he wants

once he showed a vague interest in novelty socks so EVERYONE bought him socks one Christmas because no one ever knows what to buy him

so a two years ago my brother and I ask dad what he wants for the holidays and he gives a vague answer about experiences and not things and how he wants the gift of family togetherness

this was hard for me because I live in another state, but my brother got an idea

and for christmas he gifted my dad with a set of D&D books and said he was going to GM a campaign for him

and my grandma, who was present at this holiday gathering to see this present gifted, immediately invited herself into the campaign

now, previously

when my brother was in high school and had a campaign with his high school friends

my grandma also invited herself to his campaign

so my brother probably figured this would happen but this is bad rpg etiquette

but anyway, my brother sets up this campaign for my dad, my mom, and my grandma, who is clearly far more invested in this campaign than anyone else

previously, my grandma got very into ffix and apparently told all her in game friends she was 18

she is not 18, she is a grandma

she also got ffix married and made my grandpa feel bad… the point is she gets very into her roleplays

wow

and she got very into everyone else's roleplays

so one day I am talking to my father and I ask him about how my brother's campaign was going

and he was like "well, I think it would be fun, but your grandmother…"

backseat DMing but also telling my mom (her daughter) specifically how to play her character

ALSO playing a very annoying halfling rogue stereotype

and just being that player, the one who has to make the campaign about them

BUT it's grandma, so no one wants to offend her or kick her out

lmao grandma!!!!!

and to emphasize, this was transparently what was going to happen as soon as my brother decided to DM again

anyway I think eventually my brother did talk to her and she at least stopped bossing my mom around but lol

I am pretty sure my brother has another D&D campaign but it's totally online and grandma is not allowed to know about it

and to emphasize I do love my grandma but she would be terrible to campaign with and it's entirely predictable she would have absolutely have no ic/ooc boundary

they finished their adventure and grandma thinks they should run a sequel but my dad is quietly scared of doing so

oh no grandma

I don't have any other good gossip

but i will also reveal that my grandma thinks ffviii is the best final fantasy

Grandma no... why

at the tabletop I do not have enough experience with every final fantasy to fight on which one is best

grandma no

holy shit she's that guy

I know but also she's grandma

it's amazing

i'm amazed

wow that tale was a ride I did not expect

oh my god, this is like the opposite of the cute grandma does D&D stories

once in a while I tell my mom something that happened in a game, usually minor drama, and she’ll suggest a way of handling it that makes me say, “oh. oh god. my mom would be the wankiest wanker if she got involved in DWRP.”

I mean my grandma is still cute, but also

that

some rpers just want to watch the world burn

she had no idea that people would be offended if she just said she was 18 years old on the internet

“Why don’t you just --“ “NO, MOM. NOBODY DOES THAT. THAT WOULD BE SO RUDE.”

she didn't think that was strange at all, which explains why she cheerfully discussed this at family dinners

and to be clear she doesn't really know how to use the internet

“That ‘cute girl’ you’re talking to could be an old lady! or an old man!” and now we have proof.

yep one of your rp pals might be my grandma

just think about that!!

and it's funny because she has otherwise very grandma hobbies, like gardening and taking care of her kitties

these are the kitties

BABIES

they are big now

but their names are clancy and toby

they are very cute!!