[Whine whine?] I have literally had the worst two or three weeks of my life (time has lost all meaning), but on the bright?? side?? I have consistently done every workout my coach assigned for eight days now --
and I skated for 45 minutes.
Which is a vast improvement over 20 and falling down in pain.
My thighs burned after but that was from uphill speed skating.
...Meanwhile everything has been fucking terrible, my anxiety has hit this point of overload where breathing is sort of "optional", and I'm on Xanax all day.
I thought I was having a stroke at one point because I was having phantom smells and tremors, but those are apparently symptoms of advanced anxiety attacks. The more you know, right?
Turns out PS my uncle stole someone's identity and registered a new social security number, and is running a "church" from the backyard of the family home.
that's the mildest thing I found out this week.
holy fucking shit!
oh my friend im so sorry
what the fuck
And I know I should just call my therapist but IDK what the fuck she's going to tell me that I don't already know, which is that I'm under a lot of stress because two people in my life died, lost my job, my family's insane
other things happened I'm not going into on here but had huge impact
like the one thing that's been suspiciously okay??? Is Mike???
ahhhhh and my dad is going full on crazy prepper anti-BLM and sending me messages with random karen videos talking about the reverse racist agenda
/face in hands
no wait
there we go
oh jeez.... 
nngh I'm sorry
nngh I'm sorry
I am sorry life has been so rough for you lately, my dear 
Oh geez. Good on you for taking care of yourself where you could, but I'm sorry everything else is on fire. 
augh i'm just catching up to this now. i'm really sorry.
damn I'm so sorry. 2020 needs to lay off you too
