i got some really shitty news last night about my auntie and i’m having a super hard time processing it

i feel mostly fine tbh, i love my auntie but i haven’t seen her in almost 15 years

my auntie had ALS and last night she passed away and i’ve been sitting with it since last night.

mostly i’m just worried about my mum and my cousins. i was really close with one of my cousins growing up and i know they’re all heartbroken the way my mom is

it just sort of feels strange

earlier this year my uncle passed away too. and one of my cousins. so it just feels like.... too fucking much

i can’t even type out what i’m feeling because i barely know it myself. it’s just confusing and painful and it reminds me of everyone that’s already gone and i don’t know

i have a bunch of meetings today and i’m hoping that’s going to help this disconnect i’m feeling???

i tend to process things in the background

so maybe i’ll be able to better articulate myself after work