Man I’m just trying to get a Berliner and some coffee, not illogical legal advice

....okay then

The actual advice that’s valuable here? If you’re going to commit a crime, don’t get caught.

small rant time but my husband insisted we get a landscaper out here to look at the patio and give an estimate to redecorate

even though my intention was to just do the shit myself

the landscaper didn't listen to jack shit from what I told him I wanted

and then had the absolute balls to quote me more than $10,000 to do the job.

if you are spending that kind of money to redecorate a 10x8 patio, you are a fucking asshole

Full stop do not pass go

we do not live in any kind of society where that's moral.

I'm repulsed by the quote, I'm repulsed that he didn't listen to me, I'm repulsed by my neighbors who recommended him

ughhhh

I'm going to pull up the patio stones myself, dig up a foot of earth, and do this shit myself

because you know what it'll cost me?

MAYBE

MAYBE

$500

and time and energy

I'm so mad and I've been mad for like an hour

Thats.................................insane

the quote I mean

it's obscene

And like. We're. Comfortable. Like, financially speaking. We have no debt, we have no kids. Our cars are paid off.

Because instead of taking student loans, we paid out of pocket and took like a decade to finish.

and my husband is a White Man who was able-bodied for a long time, and we both worked hard like three jobs each hard to dig out of Poverty Hole. And we got LUCKY a lot.

But I'm still not going to go drop that kind of money on

literally anything

I won't even go to someone else to get my fucking hair done

We live in DC Metro where everyone is INSANELY WEALTHY or INSANELY POOR and we're just kinda middling doing good

My next door neighbor spent $45k to renovate his BATHROOM and I'm like okay but you know what that could have bought a WHOLE GODDAMN HOUSE IN FLORIDA.

it's vile and unconscionable

Secret time but we were forced into buying a home here because rent in this area runs around $5,000 a month, and our mortgage would have been less than that. (And is. Less. Than that.)

We did not have any kind of money for the required 10-20% down payment.

I'm just going to rant without any kind of point about the cost of living and these crazy ass middle-class people

I grew up in Tampa

A house there costs like maybe 75k-150k.

This place is fucking obscene and every time someone here talks about the cost of living in Hawaii I pull up a comparison chart and show them how horrible it is here and how they're just playing the fuck into it

and now that I've ranted about that

WHO PAYS $10,000 TO RENOVATE A PATIO

I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S THE SAME KIND OF PERSON WHO TURNS AN ENTIRE ASS SPARE BEDROOM INTO A CLOSET AND DRESSING ROOM

because that's the person who recommended this landscaper to me

look
if you have the money to pay someone else 500x the amount it would cost you to do anything yourself

you need to be helping other people with that money

There's "I have enough money to live comfortably finally so I'm going to do something nice for myself"
And then there's "I'm going to spend obscenely large amounts of money on something I don't need for the sake of being a middle class shithead."

This is up there with that one neighbor who insisted on stage-whispering to me how much her husband spent on jewelry he gave her.

And during the tour of her house - because they all ?? give tours ???

told me where she got everything and how much she paid like that's not the tackiest fucking thing but also you paid what for a bowl of yarn balls from Anthropologie?

i do not like this lifestyle or this area and I want to go back to Tampa where it's much less this.

If I had $10,000 to just drop on landscaping, I would donate it to the Trevor Project or Hunters for the Hungry or shit pay down my friends' student loans or something.

Sorry if I'm idk somehow offending anyone here

but seeing three billionaires race to shoot themselves into space in some kind of rich shit dick measuring contest while the world burns gave me some morning sads, and then I got that estimate and started crying.

next week it'll be in the 70s and 80s. I'll start ripping up the pavers and digging up about a foot of whatever's underneath then, maybe in the mornings.

It'll be work, but I've got time.

not a thing wrong with work!

nope; I'm able-bodied and even if I have conceptualization issues, I'm creative.

and now I'm mad enough to do it out of spite.

holy shittttt
yeah no it’s fucking beyond ridiculous

man i wish i was close enough to come help bc ripping shit up and digging is right there with weeding on the list of ‘yes please’
but also a pain to do on one’s own even with the power of spite and tbh v righteous fury

what the fuuuuuck

>:C

and now I sit on the phone with the pharmacy and ask why they haven't filled my prescription

for...ten minutes now c:

today is one of those "nah" days

....... "Oh we did receive it, I don't know why we didn't fill it."

Me: "Good thing I don't need it to live, right?"

i did not say that.

but I sure thought it loudly.

pics when you're done!! I'm sure it'll look so good

spite-fuelled projects turn out generally speaking

the benefit of doing it myself is that i don't need to deal with some flipper-dicked asshole's input

thank you darius for providing exactly the insult I needed.

Holly: writes that down

Kix used that one in a tag on a bad day and I laughed about it for three hours.

the lord provides 😌

idk what you guys are imagining but I'm envisioning a beaver tail.

flap flap flap.

...WELL NOW I TOO AM IMAGINING THAT

M A R K

enri’s almost