I have one reliable person who's fine with me bothering her all the time! And I have another guy who kind of grumpily accepts that it's part of his job to care sometimes

but a third

Lately I've been reading some articles about how a lot of what keeps people of color out of academia is the way it assumes invisible privileges

"talk to three people and ask them to write 500 words about how you're awesome" isn't a big ask for a certain class of people

but it's been proven to be a deterrent to entire communities

like there are whole communities of people who won't return to college as adults because there's a recommendation requirement and they're like "oh no I can't ask" so they just don't apply

and I understand the mechanisms at work here

but I'm still spending 6 hours in front of the same email sweating about whether I'm being an imposition

Yeahhhh.... I feel like an imposition quite a bit. Am treated like one often. Am used to being one and needing to worry about not being more of one. Needing more than two recommendation letters sounds anxiety inducing, tbh

ahh good luck

I just want to shove my CV at fellowships and say "please give me enough money to survive next year" T_T

that's how it should work. also wishing you luck

thaaaanks

they all want like 20 pages of materials so it's basically my entire workweek

Geez

to maybe potentially get rejected in march

....

That is some fuckery at play

oh no that's normal it's like 500 people applying to like 2 positions

Then lots of good luck

thanks T_T

Dear people, please give Jessie money. Love, Liz