kibikon fuzzed

i'm not certain who else was interested, since i know simon has since faded back into the sea for now

but anyway, come get interviewed by two horrible teenage girls lol

> our owner lila zacharov
everyone immediately scrolls away

celeste sees nothing wrong with her or lila lol. she's just being honest about who you're gonna be dealing with

i love her

'hi we are mean here.

work with cats and for cats

TRUE

you say horrible teenage girls and must love cats and Shoka is on the way

i love that even with all these potential places of employment, this is still the only one my guy would remotely be interested in

shoka like everybody fucking move this is my calling

i love that the ad talks about self-improvement bc all of the workers or potential workers are people for whom this is like a lifestyle

you go you funky mean girls

these ads are like: guy he hates, guy whos friends with guy he hates, DIFFERENT guy he hates, cars (you cannot convince me he knows anything about cars), casino (seems risky), cat cafe he went to one time

im fucking crying diavolo you fuckign wreck

also souda is friends with giorno too. sorry diavolo hes everywhere

i am so sorry for what ive done to this man. and for what i continue to do

no ur not

and like abbacchio works at the casino? so even if he wasnt concerned about it he'd walk in and immediately walk out

this is also just a vibe thing but i'm pretty sure if he interacted with mukuro for 5 seconds he'd run away

shes very good at vibe checking and i think it would wig him the fuck out

[wolf stare for 30 seconds] actually bye forever

if he ever finds out mukuro is the wolf he harassed atem about Petting Details for he will collapse on the spot

screams

LMAO

anyway diavolo doesnt know who or what "lila zacharov" is and i can only assume that will be his downfall

you are right

kabunevermind: LITERALLY i put it in there because that's celeste being like 'we have high standards and will call you a moron to your face. It'll help you get better '

it's character development

screams

oh my god yeah i feel like mukuro would see diavolo and be like 'idk who this man is but his vibes are rancid and im going to eat his arms'

whereas celeste just thinks he's hilarious so far.

they are both right

riley looks at this ad and is like "...lila, self-improvement okay sure" and keeps scrolling

lila wanted riley to self-improve!

AKLSJDFASDF riley is valid

hes already had his arms eaten once, he cant handle it again

she encouraged self-improvement, right there in riley's bedroom in the dead of night!

lila and self-improvement do not belong in the same sentence

the ipmrmovement of others' selves

not her own, she is great

see i can't even spell improvement that's how great she is

man i'd point aaron at this because animals Great but he'd see celeste and immediately leave. he's not ready for the scary goth girl

oh no aaron rip

Fdsafewafea OH NO

IM SORRY AARON

he can come visit when theyre not working......... at least..

my fav thing is that the ad asks for people with "experience". what sort of lie am i going to have to concoct

AARON I AM SO SORRY LOL

oh yeah celeste wants to see if people can lie in their interviews

she doesnt expect anyone with experience that doesnt fucking matter for shit, she just wants to see how good you are at being dishonest

diavolo: i have experience
celeste: what experience
diavolo:
celeste:
diavolo:
diavolo: i have experience

does she want good liars or bad liars

literally everything about celeste doing interviews is perfect. im crying.

i love celeste more than anything in the world tbh

objectively she doesnt really mind either way, its like testing the depth of a lake

just wanna know. for reference

makes sense... wise

CELESTE IS SO MEAN GFHCHHCN

honestly i feel like lila would ask her about every aspect of the ad after the fact trying to gain her wisdom and just nod a lot, rapt

this is one of those situations where i, fuzz, am terrible at lying. clearly i must get good

fuzz fun fact i am a terrible fucking liar lol

like im just so bad at it

someone should tell these poor applicants what they're in for.

...

anyway!

riley no

the last thing you want is an overworked lila in your vicinity

NO THATS HER THOUGHT PROCESS LMFAO like "huh this is gonna be a trainwreck /keeps scrolling"

it ain't gonna be her

Trapinchmon: SHE IS SO MEAN
passiones: oh yeah celeste is happy to explain the nuances. and she DOES actually mean it when she says if you arent a good fit she will point you to somewhere you would be

god the. this might be the first time he has to give someone a "Name". i cant imagine many people would employ you when you are stubbornly refusing them this

i love riley too

he will come to see the cats and because trapper says he has to go outside once a day :/

FUCKJ FOIEWJOAFIJE

DIAVOLO HOLY SHIT

fuzzed: FUZZ I WAS GONNA SAY

diavolo make up a name. daivolo. solid.

because celeste is gonna try to find his out in their mall thread and im not anticipating her ever getting it

diavolo just like my name is. giuseppe doe
celeste slowly narrowing her eyes

so he shows up to the interview with celeste and lila sitting at a table and is like 'FUCK'

SFAHDSG

GIUSEPPE DOE IS KILLING ME

GIUSEPPE DOE

i was gonna say "giovanni doe" bc thats a closer equivalent to john but we know he wouldnt

honestly this feels like a wonderful karmic job for him. his bosses are two mean teen girls. good luck.

can also be shortened to gio - evil by association

kabunevermind: i was just saying to my partner this is his literal purgatory

here's what i will say about lila

seven months here, and he has not given anybody a name. i am stubbornly sticking to this bit of canon. he cant use his canon alias, its compromised, but i am embarrassed at the thought of making something up

she is everything that diavolo was afraid trish would be

YEAH SHES IN A FUCKING CRIME FAMILY TOO HUH

passiones: SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE LIKE PHOENIX WRIGHT ^^^^^^^

she's a highly ambitious heir to a crime family

who has and will continue to kill for her place in line

uwu

I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW. WE ALREADY KNOW FROM CANON THAT HE'S CLEARLY TERRIFIED OF TEENAGE GIRLS

diavolo like god my daughter is such a threat to me fuck and lila just sort of, there she is,

floating behind his shoulder

i love lila so much i love to see her girlbossing

god bless

this is a disaster in the making. i am terrified

she girlbosses 90% of the time and causes problems on purpose the other 10%

kibikon: also i just wanna say im very excited for sticky honse

IM LOSING IT LILA IS SO THREATENING TO SPECIFIC PPL AND ALSO GOD

im SO excited

I wonder if this job will just make trish scarier in diavolo's brain

diavolo, using copy & paste and then coloring lila pink: TWO OF THEM?

ASDKLFASDF nightmare by association

if he colors lila pink he will give the entire dangan cast even worse ptsd

GOD

omg

I didn't know she was helping run that too, that's so great

yeah she found lila under a table and was like well this is my problem now

^^ she was like 'oh cool teamwork time.'

mukuro told celeste 'we are a team' one time and girl has decided to fucking live and die by that philosophy rn

LOVE THAT FOR HER

seriously though it was several things. Atem constantly insisting 'i will live and die for my friends', Mukuro's 'we are a team' and Lila's painshare

it made celeste just kind of solidify as like 'oh. okay. these are my people. got it.'

this is the squad,

SQUAD

I'm losing my mind about "petting details" that's the funniest way to phrase that I have ever heard

HE JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHERE THE TALKING WOLF WAS (FOR PETTING REASONS)

highly relatable

I want to say that Komaeda will help but the reality is that he's still afraid of cats

You know. Fair

they just attack him unprompted,