therapy

That, and other ways to focus on yourself. After my 22 year marriage ended, I cleaned out every closet, every drawer, I changed my clothing style, I changed my hair, I focused on learning what I like by myself. I deliberately turned my attention away from him as much as I possibly could.

Also, I’m really sorry you’re in this place. It’s tough!

Yeah. I went through a divorce before with someone I’d been with for like. 12 years. And then this that ended after three years and like. It’s tough. Add in that this guy was my best friend.

And I’ll be honest, I made a list of all of his faults and the things that bother me about him, as well as reminding myself that he was a coward when he left me. And when I would start to feel sad and missing him, I would remind myself of the bad things. I’m not sure everyone would recommend this, but it works for me lol

I mean. That’s totally fair! Because then you can stop yourself from doing something stupid like missing them xD I’m just...idk how to meet new people. I don’t know how to date. How to get out there. I work from home. I live with family. It’s mostly me and my cat. And I feel very lonely.

I also made a list like WhiskeyMonday, and it did really help me when I felt weak.

I guess right now I feel really hurt and let down and everything. I was supposed to be moving there, since he owns a pub. I was going to work with him. He was going to teach me things about running a pub. We were going to get dogs. He had a ring for me. We were planning a wedding. Everything. It feels like my future disappeared :/

NinjaPrincessAM: How long has it been?

WhiskeyMonday: Let's see. I got out of the hospital onnnn...27th? 28th? It was around then that he broke up with me.

So just a couple of weeks?

WhiskeyMonday: Yeah, not super long for sure.

Yeah, it takes so much time. It's still so fresh. You'll be mourning that loss for a long time. But you're right, you feel like your future disappeared. But you can make a new future. Aside from him, the things you were excited to do? Work on those!! But yes, time. I hate it, but there's no way around it. You need time. <3

WhiskeyMonday: Yeah. It's fresh and it's shitty and it's awful. I just don't know where to go now or what to do or anything. Nothing feels exciting right now.

I recommend sleep. and keeping yourself distracted. when i went through my really rough breakup, I picked a dumb mindless tv show with a bunch of seasons and binged that

omgwtfbarb: I’ve been doing that! Big Bang Theory because I finished Bob’s Burgers. I just wish anything sparked joy inside of me rn.

this dude broke up with you when you first came out of the hospital after surgery?? that needs to be number 1 on your list of reasons why you should not love him, that sucks ass, i'm so sorry.

nimil: I think he would have done it sooner. It wasn’t planned like that but yeah. It was some shit. And it was done via text. Tho he has apologized for that because I pointed out how bullshit it was.