it just seems like it's been ten thousand years since the last time I checked in with the timeline

hi, fam

how are you?

Heyo.

a lot's happened for me and I cannot talk about any of it

Hello there!

But how are you?

ty to everyone who listened to me scream into metaphorical pillows

shit got eventful for a minute but I think it's calming down

October was approximately seventeen years long

I'm ready to have a birthday month

heyyyy Jessie ❤️

oh no did you have a shitty October?? I'm so sorry. I hope November will treat you better

dragillionaire: I mean it's fine there were just some really creative interpretations of my plurks going around and it was kind of like "....yeah I'm gonna. not feed into that."

but also just general busy-ness

unrelated to any of this but my buddy is overseas and asked me to water his plants while he's away and i am quickly realizing that I do not know how to keep plants alive

They're fully wilting on me and I'm just like "..... waters u...? .....?"

birthdaaaaayyyyyy

sorry bud, come home soon

murdering ur plant babies

.......oh no. you might be OVERwatering actually

oh no I'm not around enough for that to be a risk >>

The Plurk thing is a mood

he was like "come by on friday!" and then I showed up on Monday to droopy brown things

ahh. okay idk jack shit about plants but i've killed them by overwatering this is why when clients tell me to water things i'm like "you need to put a post it ON THE POT with exactly how much and when"

lmao RIGHT

"no i'm not exaggerating, i will accidentally murder everything"

your dog will be fine but your foliage not so much

"a little less than a full pitcher should be enough for all of them" HOW MUCH FOR EACH PLANT

THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES

THEY ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF PLANT

SPECIFIC POST ITS ON EACH POT SIR

I can keep a bamboo alive and that's just because they like to take long baths and always be soaking

timmtams: also YEAH sometimes it's kind of like "too many people are looking at me right now and I am not comfortable"

Legit

"thank you also please stop "

are you a scorpio or a saggitarius?

I am the most Scorpio that has ever Scorpioed

but my birthday's the 20th so I'm technically on the cusp

I just prefer to be a pastiche, apparently

haha i have a scorpio moon! i'm not sure if i've fully embraced it

it me all of it

no notes

haha

sometimes aquarius is super duper spot on and sometimes i'm just like neo in the matrix, dodging "secretly holds a grudge" and "spiritual"

lol I have the grudgiest star sign

hangs out here still mad about the kid I the 7th grade who put a rubber bug in my desk to watch me scream about it

am i the only one out here who thinks their sign's traits are completely incorrect for them lmao

WELP now I'm just scrolling through memes feeling Seen

cuddlebug: i mean horoscopes are intentionally kind of vague and universal

you're allowed to be an iconoclast

dhfjkhsf i just have never seen a sag meme that fit

cuddlebug: lies and slander

...... /saves that...

NEVER SEEN THAT ONE!!

the horoscope memes never lie

they're usually really not at all like that one lol

this one sees both of us together

"I don't like drama but I will show up immediately and listen attentively to your drama"

well i don't like when i have to deal with the drama lol

the internet continues to Get Me omg I need to stop spamming SORRY FRIENDS

but also "can I please lick your brain" is definitely something I would say to my favorite people

while "oh is there not a brain to lick? " is the cause of so many conflicts

all the snoogles

i am none of those signs and yet i too would gladly engage with someone else;s drama while very much avoiding any of my own