I don't think they've ever thought about me. I wonder if any of them even remember me or whether I'm the one who keeps the memory of the friendship alive?

Sometimes I wonder if I should reach out...

But how some friendships ended I really don't want to. And, again, I don't think they'd even reply. Or worse they'd reply with "who is this?".

No, actually worse would be them telling me to get away from them and never to contact again and blocking me. Which is a possibility...

With at least one. Because that friendship turned toxic. That friend wanted me around while she was sick. As soon as she got better and I needed help, I was apparently getting in the way of her desire for self improvement and happiness.

those friends dont deserve you

i know it's hard but leave them

The last big one decided that we shouldn't be friends because she didn't want to rp anymore and has gotten out of our shared fandom so what was the point in continuing a ten year friendship?

trevenant: oh no no, I left them behind. It's been years since I've spoken to them. But I keep dreaming about people and it's weirding me out

Its making me think about things. Past mistakes. Makes me feel like the blame should be on me, since this keeps happening.

Even now. People drift away and I just don't know what to do. Whether I should reach out or just let things go their course.

There was something that was going around like a chain letter back in the old early days of email (Yes I am old) about how some friends are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

I.... have had so many friends in my life in the first category. We were friends because they needed me... and as soon as they no longer did, they were gone.

And it hurt, like anything. Some o them still hurt.

And I have had friends who were friends for a season. Maybe we went to school together, but had no real way to keep in contact after or nothing left in common. Or we had a mutual friend who drifted and without them there wasn't enough there to hold us together. I feel like those friendships... tended to fade more naturally and that maybe there is

hope for some of them to rekindle under the right circumstances.

But the friends for a lifetime? The wonderful thing is those you get to keep

I actually sent that email, years after it was no longer being circulated, to one of my two best friends.... along with a long letter that basically ended with "You're my friend for a life time, you're stuck with me and I'm never letting you go, so there" and for the longest time after that her nickname was "lifetime"

We have.... almost nothing in common anymore. We really don't. She hardly RPs any more, we don't follow the same fandoms. Most of what she's into bores me, and most of what I'm into bores her. But... we're for a life time.

I... think you are one of my lifetime friends. At least... I hope you are.

ChickletLARP: i don't think I have a friend for a lifetime...

But I'm so very glad (and a wee bit jealous lol) that you do. That sounds honestly wonderful!

You have me, if you want me.

I would like that ^^

i have seen many 10 year long friendships fizzle out or dropped because one person got into a new fandom, its sad but it happens

but good on you for getting rid of those people

Then you have that.

It is always hard when friendships end, even when they end on good terms, I think.

But one of the great things in life is.... there are billions of potential friends out there. You never know when you are going to meet someone who is going to be like a tic on your heart. just burrowing in deep, who will never leave.

Even if they make weird bug analogies while bing afraid of bugs, lol.

*being

i think about you a lot, and I'm sorry I'm crap at dropping a line and saying hi more often. trust me when I say I still consider you a good friend.